Andy Zaltzman Quotes

Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family

If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales.

Yes, freedom is good, but arguably, grammar is better.

Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.

To all the revolutionaries fighting to throw off the yoke of tyranny around the world: look at British democracy. Is that what you want?