Chelsea Peretti Quotes

Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?

If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.

Sometimes when Im nervous, thats when the most interesting things happen.

Why are old maps always burnt?

I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.

I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world.

My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

Its really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, I usually dont like female comedians, but your material is great! It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?

I only do private room karaoke where its just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.

I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world - you know, a kid sister of the “real comedians”. I like the idea of positioning myself as legendary rather than trying to fit in. Now do I see myself like that every day? No, but I think it's a funny attitude and maybe on some weird, spiritual level, maybe it's a good attitude.

Im Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.

On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.