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Funny Friend Quotes

1.
Some people look for a beautiful place, others make a place beautiful.
Hazrat Inayat Khan

Authors on Funny Friend Quotes: Francis Bacon Jerry Seinfeld George Ade Ambrose Bierce Garry Shandling Brian Andreas Mason Cooley Thomas Fuller Enid Blyton George Herbert Andy Borowitz A. A. Milne Oscar Wilde Bruce White Maya Angelou Truman Capote Euripides Gilbert K. Chesterton Ann Richards Paul Thorn Otto von Bismarck Bob Hope Lord Chesterfield F. Scott Fitzgerald Agatha Christie Gregory Douglass Austin O'Malley Pierre Teilhard de Chardin Gelett Burgess Bing Crosby Hazrat Inayat Khan Oprah Winfrey Charles Caleb Colton
2.
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
Garry Shandling

3.
The world is round so that friendship may encircle it.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

4.
An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.
Oscar Wilde

5.
Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.
Otto von Bismarck

6.
There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.
Bing Crosby

7.
I don't like half the folks I love.
Paul Thorn

8.
I don't believe in things like that - fairies or brownies or magic or anything. It's old-fashioned.' 'Well, we must be jolly old-fashioned then,' said Bessie. 'Because we not only believe in the Faraway Tree and love our funny friends there, but we go to see them too - and we visit the lands at the top of the Tree as well!
Enid Blyton

9.
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

10.
A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.
Samuel Butler

11.
Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love.
Elie Wiesel

12.
I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
Ann Richards

13.
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope

14.
Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces.
Austin O'Malley

15.
Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.
Gelett Burgess

16.
I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me. I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be; I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way.
Edgar Guest

17.
Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
Ambrose Bierce

18.
Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too.
Thomas Fuller

19.
A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.
Maya Angelou

20.
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
Lord Chesterfield

21.
When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative.
Francis Bacon

22.
You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time.
Brian Andreas

23.
Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.
Agatha Christie

24.
It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

25.
Every man should have a fair-sized cemetary in which to bury the faults of his friends.
Henry Adams

26.
A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.
George Ade

27.
Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.
Mason Cooley

28.
I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?
Christian Slater

29.
Without friends the world is but a wilderness.
Francis Bacon

30.
I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
Euripides

31.
What I know for sure is that if you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal. I know ours is.
Oprah Winfrey

32.
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd, Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
Alexander Pope

33.
I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.
Malcolm Bradbury

34.
Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends.
Truman Capote

35.
It is good to have some friends both in heaven and hell.
George Herbert

36.
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.
Charles Caleb Colton

37.
I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.
Sally Phillips

38.
Time for Tolerance,Equality, and Acceptance, It's allways TEA time with my Friends.
Gregory Douglass

39.
It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.
Jerry Seinfeld

40.
Life is so much friendlier with two.
A. A. Milne

41.
If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them
Andy Borowitz

42.
Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.
Bruce White

43.
Why would anybody want a friend?
Jerry Seinfeld