Funny Simpsons Quotes

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Homer no function beer well without.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

Art is what separates us from the animals.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

The strong must protect the sweet.