Fuzzy Zoeller Quotes

Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it.

I might not come home with hardware, but I'm winning.

Newspapers do a good job telling me what happened yesterday, but they'd be a lot more impressive if they could tell me what's going to happen tomorrow.

The greatest thing about golf, there's no end to it unless you're dead. You just go from here to the Senior Tour.

I'm glad I don't have to make a living farming. Too much hard work. Too many variables you don't have control over, like, is it going to rain? All I can say is, god bless the real farmers out there.

I never had any thought the whole week. I figured my caddie [Jerry Beard] knew the course a lot better than me, so I put out my hand and played whatever club he put in it. I'd say, "How hard do I hit it?" He'd tell me and I'd swing. The guys who come down here once a year and try to get smart with Mr. Jones' course are the dumb ones.

Life is not a bowl full of cherries, there's good and bad stuff.

That little boy is driving well and he's putting well. He's doing everything it takes to win. So, you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say congratulations and enjoy it and tell him not serve fried chicken next year. Got it? [...] Or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.

Because you pray after you play.

You've got to gamble every once in a while in a round of golf. I'm not afraid to screw up.

I've never been to heaven and, thinking back on my life, I probably won't get a chance to go. I guess the Masters is as close as I'm going to get.

A lot of amateurs are terrified of going up against a player who is clearly better than they are. They never play their best, because they aren't comfortable. There's one surefire way to get over that, and it's to ask yourself, 'What if I beat him?' Imagine the possibility.

I accept the fact that I'm going to miss it sometimes. I just hope I miss it where I can find it.

Every shot makes someone happy.

Everybody saying you can't do this, you can't do that. I don't know why. Guess if you listen to it, you can convince yourself of it.

They talk about Amen Corner but there's so much more to it than what meets the eye on this golf course.

It's nice to walk into a club and see your picture. Then you know you've done something good.

If the pressure is getting to you, whistle. In a barely audible way. It's the best way I know of to let go of tension. Music gets your mind off the situation, and the act of whistling melts the tension out of your body.

When I hosted the dinner I served fast food hamburgers. It had nothing to do with black, white, purple, yellow, green race. it had nothing to do with Tiger or his family or his golf game.

Arnie, you're going to have to buy a bigger jet.

Every golfer has a little monster in him. It's just that type of sport.

You would think that Freddy Couples-Nick Price would be the team to beat, but I'll tell you in skins, it's a matter of just hitting it at the right time.

There are days when I can hear men tying their shoe laces in the gallery.

There is something magical about that green coat. I mean that sincerely. It's a very special week, and being able to wear that green jacket. It's made my whole career. It's special.

I think I can be competitive. Heck, anybody who can walk to the first tee here has a chance.

At the British Open, I had my opportunities, but the ball just didn't want to go in the hole on the back nine.

I realize I'm not a machine. I'm going to make mistakes.

There's a lot of great people out here, I just appreciate it and hope everybody has had fun because I've enjoyed my ride.

I hope everybody's had fun, because I've enjoyed my ride. I can tell you that. Now it's time to step aside and let some other young kid come in and win. Hopefully, they will, too.

I wasn't sure I'd ever win again. Every time I got close, somebody seemed to play a little better.

What the hell, I paid my dues.

It's fun when the ball is going in the hole and things are going right, but it's a miserable game when things aren't going well.

I hate golf to be tricked up. To me it's a fun game.

Golf isn't first on my list anymore. There are a lot of things ahead of golf and I have to go ahead and do those things so I can play golf. I'm tired of hurting. Tired of fighting pain.

The key factor in the vodka category is smoothness, and smoothness is what our vodka has.

I've been on the tour for 23 years and anybody who knows me knows that I am a jokester.

If I hadn't become a golfer, I doubt I'd be wealthy, because I don't have the sort of ego that drives a person all day long. I might have wound up driving a tractor.

You've got to have the guts not to be afraid to screw up.

You've got to have the guts to not be afraid to screw up. The guys who win are the ones who are not afraid to mess up. And that comes right from the heart.

A million thoughts went through my mind. What little mind I have.

When things are going good they just keep going good.

I'm not a great player, but I'm a damn good one.