Hemorrhoids Quotes

Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

Sir, this lane is for ten items or less. I’m counting thirteen items in your cart, including that hemorrhoid cream. And while hemorrhoids might give you a reason to be nasty, they don’t give you a reason to be in this lane.

One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress

The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids.

The movies are celluloid hemorrhoids. No, worse: They're celluloid Bon Jovi.