1.
A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.
Henry Beard
2.
Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.
Henry Beard
3.
A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
Henry Beard
4.
"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf
Henry Beard
5.
Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.
Henry Beard
6.
Fairway: a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.
Henry Beard
7.
Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone.
Henry Beard
8.
Follow through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been hit, but before the club has been thrown.
Henry Beard
9.
The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.
Henry Beard
10.
Hoeing: A manual method of severing roots from stems of newly planted flowers and vegetables.
Henry Beard
11.
Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.
Henry Beard
12.
You do not sew with a fork and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.
Henry Beard
13.
Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
Henry Beard
14.
Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again.
Henry Beard
15.
Wear it if it clashes.
Henry Beard
16.
Chef: Any cook who swears in French.
Henry Beard
17.
It's often necessary to hit a second shot to really appreciate the first one.
Henry Beard
18.
I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray.
Henry Beard
19.
Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.
Henry Beard
20.
Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.
Henry Beard
21.
Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.
Henry Beard
22.
If the wind is in your face, you swing too hard just to get the ball through it; if the wind is at your back, you swing too hard just to see how far you can get the ball to go.
Henry Beard
23.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
Henry Beard
24.
A driving range is the place where golfers go to get all the good shots out of their system.
Henry Beard