1.
I really just think it's disgusting when people - to actually say that you want to be famous, it's just gross. There's nothing wrong with fame, but to seek out the spotlight just to be on TV for the sake of being on TV, and to put your children on there, I think, is especially disgusting.
Jon Glaser
2.
For the most part, people don't know who I am.
Jon Glaser
3.
I’m sort of known in the comedy community as “Smooth Sailing,” just ’cause everything always goes great. I’ve always had success at every turn.
Jon Glaser
4.
What one person might see as violent, someone else may see as beautiful. Maybe even art.
Jon Glaser
5.
Changing the world, one exclamation point at a time.
Jon Glaser
6.
I suppose we all have a lil' inner or outer a-hole inside of us, just waiting for the right opportunity to rear their own beautiful buttholes.
Jon Glaser
7.
I didn't necessarily set out to think of a show to make fun of reality shows.
Jon Glaser
8.
"Smooth Sailing" and "Hall of Fame" are my top two nicknames. "Cool Guy." "Jolly Jon." "Fun Jon." There's a lot of derivatives of Jon. "Cool Jon." Some people took "Smooth Sailing" and "Fun Jon" and made "Smooth Jon." That's a good one. It's just starting to catch on with the general public. Just every now and then, "Hey! Smooth Jon!" Or "You're Smooth Jon, right?!" People aren't quite sure. I'm like, "Yeah." "Okay, cool, that's what I thought!"
Jon Glaser
9.
I'm sort of known in the comedy community as "Smooth Sailing," just 'cause everything always goes great. I've always had success at every turn. Everything has gone well for me. I've never had a project fail. Everywhere I go, it's "What's up, Smooth Sailing?! How are the seas today, buddy?" I'm like, "Calm as can be!"
Jon Glaser
10.
For me, it feels like my ideas are more specific to random thoughts or single ideas I might have, as opposed to being influenced by a general perception of absurdity.
Jon Glaser
11.
There were plenty of times some writers would make some kind of stupid joke to each other and then it was on TV that night or that week.
Jon Glaser
12.
Ground the main character in stupidity. Hire a good cast and a good crew.
Jon Glaser
13.
It's always been about when I do theater, the audience is just a viewer, not taking part in what's onstage. Whereas if you're doing stand-up, it's inclusive.
Jon Glaser
14.
If you're doing stand-up, there is no fourth wall; you're engaging an audience.
Jon Glaser
15.
If you're a stand-up, you're more or less yourself.
Jon Glaser
16.
I don't mind not having recognition. If it happens, fine, but it doesn't bother me that it's not there.
Jon Glaser
17.
I always feel like I'm forgetting things.
Jon Glaser