Matt Walsh Quotes

I didn’t marry The One, I married this one, and the two of us became one.

If you’re not familiar with it, a college degree is a thing that we tell our kids to buy with money they don’t have, in hopes that it will help them make money they might earn, which will give them the ability to pay back the money they spent in order to make the money they’re paying it back with.

I know that relationships can be a winding, sometimes unpredictable road... it just seems to me that, if you ever find yourself backed into a corner, and the only way out is a box, that you have sex in, on stage, on live TV... something has gone terribly wrong.

Truth only seems old fashioned nowadays because we've grown so accustomed to deceit and manipulation. But Truth is eternal, so it can never be old or new. It never 'was' or 'will be.' It just 'is.' It always 'is.' Truth never grows old, and if you believe in it and try to live by it, you will always be, in some ways - the only ways that matter - the youngest, freshest, most energetic rebel on the block.

Anyone who believes in a Jesus who condones abortion does not believe in the real Jesus, and therefore is not Christian.

I have never in my life encountered a religion as oppressive, cold, and stiff as Progressivism. I've never known a faith more eager to burn heretics at the stake. Even a fundamentalist Iranian Muslim would flinch if he came face to face with a western liberal's rigid dogmatism. I imagine that even a Saudi Arabian Islamic cleric would take one look at how American left wingers react when anyone deviates ever so slightly from their established orthodoxy, and say to himself, 'man, these people REALLY need to chill.

A perfect movie is a different thing, but a funny movie is easy. I was really happy that I got everyone that I got. Everybody got to play to their strengths and was paired up in the right scenarios. It was very fortunate. It was exciting, the whole process. It makes more difficulty in editing 'cause there's more footage, but the guy I had handle it was a documentarian editor for a long time, so it was very useful.

You cant be controlling in improv.

Children are entitled to life. We conceive them and so we owe them our care and our protection. This may not be a dictate of law anymore, but it is a dictate of love.

It's so pretentious, but I believe that with comedy, if you have a good story, 90% of it is casting. Once you get the guys and gals in there, it's pretty easy to make a funny movie.

It used to be that your rights were infringed upon if the government punished or threatened you for expressing your sincerest beliefs. Now, your rights are infringed upon if you want something but someone refuses to buy it for you.

L.A. can be pretty insane because there's so much show business here, but I also know a lot of kids who grew up in Manhattan who are some of the most normal, nicest people I know. Casting directors always say Chicago people are just nicer.

Yeah, it was always a low-budget passion project. It's my directing debut. I've always wanted to make an improv movie because I have so much experience in it, but it's not a big studio movie. It was an experiment that turned out better than I thought.

Well, politics is much more severe than entertainment. You have to hit those points, in politics, word for word. You have to remember the date. You have to remember the website. You have to rehearse stories that might be asked, have anecdotes ready for questions that might come up.

Sure, I would have loved it, if we'd gotten 2,000 screens, but I never had that delusion. I was very realistic. I think it's a success, in that it turned out funny, I got everyone I wanted to be in it, and it will get seen. The hope is that it gets a little cult following. I think people will be surprised about who's in it and how funny it is. That's my hope.

I'm more of a fisherman as opposed to a scientist perhaps and chasing the whale. But I've had some success.

I'm a huge fan of Chicago sports and Chicago food, and I love going home and my family is still there. I guess it's pretty easy to have a normal life in Chicago.

I've never gotten hired for drama because I'm a good improviser. I don't think people who write drama scripts want you playing with them as much.

We are the protagonists of our love story, not the spectators.

I guess I'm sort of spoiled because, most of the things that I get to do, people know that you're a good improviser, so they allow you at least one improv take, and for comedy, that's great.