Paul Dickson Quotes

The human hand is made complete by the addition of a baseball.

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

The more innocuous the name of a weapon, the more hideous its impact. Some of the most horrific weapons of the Vietnam era were named Bambi, Infant, Daisycutter, Grasshopper, and Agent Orange. Nor is the trend new: From the past we have Mustard Gas, Angel Chasers [two can-nonballs linked with a chain for added destruction], and the Peacemaker, to name a few.)

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

The great comfort of turning forty-nine is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Accuracy, Rule of, Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is impossible.

Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.

Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.

Don't bite the hand that has your allowance in it.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.