1.
It was our favorite part of the day, this in-between time, and it always seemed to last longer than it should--a magic and lavender space unpinned from the hours around it, between worlds.
Paula McLain
It was our most cherished moment of the day, this interlude, and it constantly appeared to endure more than necessary--a supernatural and violet void unattached from the periods around it, between realms.
2.
More and more I find myself at a loss for words and didn't want to hear other people talking either. Their conversations seemed false and empty. I preferred to look at the sea, which said nothing and never made you feel alone.
Paula McLain
3.
My life was my life; I would have to stare it down, somehow, and make it work for me.
Paula McLain
4.
Knowing he was suffering pained me. That’s the way love tangles you up. I couldn’t stop loving him, and couldn’t shut off the feelings of wanting to care for him— but I also didn’t have to run to answer his letters. I was hurting, too, and no one was running to me.
Paula McLain
5.
Sometimes I wish we could rub out all of our mistakes and start fresh, from the beginning,' I said. 'And sometimes I think there isn't anything to us but our mistakes.
Paula McLain
6.
Maybe happiness was an hourglass already running out, the grains tipping, sifting past each other. Maybe it was a state of mind.
Paula McLain
7.
If I can write one sentence, simple and true every day, I'll be satisfied.
Paula McLain
8.
I miss good old-fashioned honorable people just trying to make something of life. Simply, without hurting anyone else. I know that makes me a sap.
Paula McLain
9.
Dogs are easy. If their tails are up and their eyes are soft, you're in.
Paula McLain
10.
Not everyone out in a storm wants to be saved
Paula McLain
11.
I'd had my share of rain. My mother's illness ... had weighed on me, but the years before had been heavy, too. I was only twenty eight.
Paula McLain
12.
This was my one brush with love. Was it love? It felt awful enough. I spent another two years crawling around in the skin of it, smoking too much and growing too thin and having stray thoughts of jumping from my balcony like a tortured heroine in a Russian novel.
Paula McLain
13.
She was also incredibly confident, with a way of moving and talking that communicated that she didn't need anyone to tell her she was beautiful or worthwhile.
Paula McLain
14.
Nothing hurts if you don't let it.
Paula McLain
15.
I also liked to look around at the houses surrounding the park and wonder about the people who filled them, what kinds of marriages they had and how they loved or hurt each other on any given day, and if they were happy, and whether they thought happiness was a sustainable thing.
Paula McLain
16.
I knew that I could hate him all I wanted for the way he was hurting me, but I couldn’t ever stop loving him, absolutely, for what he was.
Paula McLain
17.
You have to digest life. You have to chew it up and love it all through.
Paula McLain
18.
You are everything good and straight and fine and true—and I see that so clearly now, in the way you’ve carried yourself and listened to your own heart. You’ve changed me more than you know, and will always be a part of everything I am. That’s one thing I’ve learned from this. No one you love is ever truly lost.
Paula McLain
19.
Happiness is so awfully complicated, but freedom isn't. You're either tied down or you're not.
Paula McLain
20.
And sometimes I think there isn’t anything to us but our mistakes.
Paula McLain
21.
In Paris, you couldn't really turn around without seeing the result of lovers' bad decisions. An artist given to sexual excess was almost a cliché, but no one seemed to mind. As long as you were making something good or interesting or sensational, you could have as many lovers as you wanted and ruin them all.
Paula McLain
22.
Though I often looked for one, I finally had to admit that there could be no cure for Paris.
Paula McLain
23.
A week passes but it feels as if he's never been anywhere else. It's one of the things war does to you. Everything you see works to replace moments and people from your life before, until you can't remember why any of it mattered. It doesn't help if you're a soldier. The effect is the same.
Paula McLain
24.
At twenty-eight I'd had a handful of beaux, but had only been in love once, and that had been awful enough to make me doubt men and myself for a good long while.
Paula McLain
25.
But when Bumby nursed, his fist clutching the fabric of my robe, his eyes soft and bottomless and locked on mine, as if I were the very heart of his universe, I couldn't help but melt into him.
Paula McLain
26.
The way I see it, how can you really say you'll love a person longer than love lasts?
Paula McLain
27.
I didn't want to be a sweet boy's sweet girlfriend. I wanted to be Fawn's equal, the kind of girl who stood up for herself and took care of business, who cut guys loose when it was required.
Paula McLain
28.
I preferred to look at the sea, which said nothing and never made you feel alone.
Paula McLain
29.
But in the end, fighting for a love that was already gone felt like trying to live in the ruins of a lost city.
Paula McLain
30.
On December 8, 1921, when the Leopoldina set sail for Europe, we were on board. Our life together had finally begun. We held on to each other and looked out at the sea. It was impossibly large and full of beauty and danger in equal parts-and we wanted it all.
Paula McLain
31.
Why is it every other person you meet says they're an artist? A real artist doesn't need to gas on about it, he doesn't have time. He does his work and sweats it out in silence, and no one can help him at all.
Paula McLain
32.
I'd never met anyone so vibrant or alive. He moved like light.
Paula McLain
33.
Ernest once told me that the word paradise was a Persian words that meant walled garden. I knew then that he understood how necessary the promises we made to each other were to our happiness. You couldn't have real freedom unless you knew were the walls were and tended to them. We could lean on the walls because they existed; they existed because we leaned on them.
Paula McLain
34.
People belong to each other only as long as they both believe. He stopped believing.
Paula McLain
35.
All that was left for me was a terrible kind of paralysis, this waiting game, this heartbreak game.
Paula McLain
36.
But love is love. It makes you do terribly stupid things.
Paula McLain
37.
Maybe no one can know how it is for anyone else.
Paula McLain
38.
There was only today to throw yourself into without thinking about tomorrow, let alone forever. To keep you from thinking, there was liquor, an ocean's worth at least, all the usual vices and plenty of rope to hang yourself with. Love is a beautiful liar.
Paula McLain
39.
I would gladly have climbed out of my skin and into his that night, because I believed that was what love meant.
Paula McLain
40.
How unbelievably naive we both were that night. We clung hard to each other, making vows we couldn't keep and should never have spoken aloud. That's how love is sometimes. I already loved him more than I'd ever loved anything or anyone. I knew he needed me absolutely, and I wanted him to go on needing me forever.
Paula McLain
41.
And that's when he finally tells me his name is Ernest. I'm thinking of giving it away, though. Ernest is so dull, and Hemingway? Who wants a Hemingway?
Paula McLain
42.
The very rich only admire themselves
Paula McLain
43.
Books could be an incredible adventure. I stayed under my blanket and barely moved, and no one would have guessed how my mind raced and my heart soared with stories.
Paula McLain
44.
It gave me a sharp kind of sadness to think that no matter how much I loved him and tried to put him back together again, he might stay broken forever.
Paula McLain
45.
Don't tell readers what to think. Let the action speak for itself.
Paula McLain
46.
I hope we'll get lucky enough to grow old together.
Paula McLain
47.
... and yet he could also be very charming, in a bookish, infinitely apologetic way.
Paula McLain
48.
To marry was to say you believed in the future and in the past, too-that history and tradition and hope could stay knit together to hold you up.
Paula McLain