1.
Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr
It is clear that with every governmental misstep, McDonald's introduces a fresh item on the menu.
2.
A smoked salmon sandwich of a football match if ever there has been one.
Peter Drury
3.
They have a few drinks, and maybe the prawn sandwiches, and they don't realise what's going on out on the pitch.
Roy Keane
4.
Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
Paul Lynde
5.
Bottled water costs about 2000 times more than tap water. Can you imagine paying 2000 times the price of anything else? How about a $ 10,000 sandwich?
Annie Leonard
6.
I love sandwiches. Let's face it, life is better between two pieces of bread.
Jeff Mauro
7.
I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.
Janet Evanovich
9.
Find me playing till sunrise for 50 cents and a sandwich.
Muddy Waters
10.
I feel like we have to keep our eyes on the road. Being nostalgic is like taking an offramp and getting a sandwich - and then you get back on the highway. I don't want to be spending the rest of my life at the gas station.
Eddie Vedder
11.
Too few people understand a really good sandwich.
James Beard
12.
Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
Victoria Wood
13.
Life is like a sandwich!
Birth as one slice,
and death as the other.
What you put in-between
the slices is up to you.
Is your sandwich tasty or sour?
Alan Rufus
15.
So do you want a turd sandwich or a turd sandwich with mustard. I'd go with the mustard, but still, it's a turd sandwich.
Cody Lundin
16.
Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Peter Kay
17.
Toast is bread made delicious and useful. Un-toasted bread is okay for children's sandwiches and sopping up barbecue sauce, but for pretty much all other uses, toast is better than bread. An exception is when the bread is fresh from the oven, piping hot, with butter melting all over it. Then it's fantastic, but I would argue that bread fresh out of the oven is a kind of toast. Because I'm an asshole and I refuse to be wrong about something.
Steve Albini
18.
I cannot starve myself. I'm a foodie! I make fabulous pastas, Indian food, parathas and club sandwiches!
Preity Zinta
19.
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
Matt Groening
20.
You don't need a pack of wild horses to learn how to make a sandwich.
Phil McGraw
21.
Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.
Richard Jeni
22.
Normally a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich if a prosecutor asks it to.
Chuck Robb
23.
What is the past, what is it all for? A mental sandwich?
John Ashbery
24.
I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars.
Brian Regan
25.
I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Its either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple
Neil Simon
26.
I tell people all the time, you have to be in love with that pot. You have to put all your love in that pot. If you're in a hurry,just eat your sandwich and go. Don't even start cooking, because you can't do anything well in a hurry. I love food. I love serving people. I love satisfying people.
Leah Chase
27.
I dress and eat like a fifth-grader, basically. I like sandwiches and cereal and hooded sweatshirts.
Peter Dinklage
28.
You can make any meal into a sandwich, and any sandwich into a meal.
Jeff Mauro
29.
Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.
Allan Sherman
30.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Jim Carrey
31.
My fatal flaw is hubris. The brown stuff they spread on veggie sandwiches? No, seaweed brain. That's hummus. Hubris is worse. What could be worse than hummus?
Rick Riordan
32.
Son of a mustard sandwich, that ends tonight!
John Cena
33.
A sandwich and a cup of coffee, and then off to violin-land, where all is sweetness and delicacy and harmony.
Arthur Conan Doyle
34.
Saturday night is your big night. Everybody used to fry up fish and have one hell of a time. Find me playing till sunrise for 50 cents and a sandwich. And be glad of it. And they really liked the low-down blues.
Muddy Waters
35.
I should like a parsley sandwich. To the best of my knowledge they are not in season.
Edward Gorey
36.
I can afford to get Tescos finest sandwiches rather than the basic ones.
Taron Egerton
37.
I'm in love with the person in the sandwich centre. If she didn't exist I'd have to invent her.
Ian Dury
38.
I just told you to be quiet. That's one step away from asking you to wash my laundry and make me a sandwich.
Richelle Mead
39.
When you make his sandwiches, put a sexy or loving note in his lunch box.
Anne Rice
40.
I think if you have to make sandwiches to get a ring - you should do good things for your man, but I don't think I would do that.
Katie Pavlich
41.
If we replaced all of our guns with chicken sandwiches it would end all war immediately.
Thom Yorke
42.
I always like to find those little mom-and-pop sandwich places, or diners. Those are my favorite kind of places.
Billy Gardell
43.
A grand jury would 'indict a ham sandwich,' if that's what you wanted.
Sol Wachtler
44.
The best thing I can make is a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich.
Mario Diaz-Balart
45.
There is a curious relationship between a candidate and the reporters who cover him. It can be affected by small things like a competent press staff, enough seats, sandwiches and briefings and the ability to understand deadlines.
Ronald Steel
46.
A man's social rank is determined by the amount of bread he eats in a sandwich.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
48.
When I'm stuck in my writing, the world is amiss. If I'm eating a sandwich, it's an unsettled sandwich. If I'm in the shower, it's an incorrect shower. It's profoundly uncomfortable. But it's what keeps me pushing.
Melissa Rosenberg
49.
I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.
Dana Gould
50.
When I travel I normally eat club sandwiches or I bring my own food. When you go into a new town, it's very had to find a good place to eat.
Paul Prudhomme