1.
You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are.
Adam Rex
2.
I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.
Adam Rex
3.
YOU have no room to laugh, that's all. I'm not doing any worse with Boovish than you did with English.' Get off of the car,' J.Lo huffed. 'I am an English superstar.' Uh-uh. There's no comparison. 'Gratuity' in written Boovish has seventeen different bubbles that all have to be the right size and in the right place. 'J.Lo' in written English only has three letters, and you still spelled it 'M-smiley face-pound sign.
Adam Rex
4.
I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G." "Sausages.
Adam Rex
5.
They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?
Adam Rex
6.
There's a little bit of magic in every box!
Adam Rex
7.
The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
Adam Rex
8.
...Almost everything inside was filled with sugar, cheese, and weight-loss tips.
Adam Rex
9.
We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with stupid little arguments. Don't get me wrong; I liked J.Lo fine. I've made that bed. But I'm not sure there's a person in the world I could be with twenty-four hours a day for three weeks without getting a little snippy. If I ever meet such a person, I'm marrying them.
Adam Rex
10.
I was the funny, outgoing kid who didn't understand how he could keep getting mistaken for a nerd nobody liked.
Adam Rex
11.
As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.
Adam Rex
12.
The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th following Initiation, the 21st at the end of the Initiate's second week, and the 89th the first time he brings snacks.
Adam Rex
13.
Magic likes a good tragedy, too.
Adam Rex
14.
Regarding stickyfish teams, I favor the Bigfield Fighting Koobish.
Adam Rex
15.
The Boov frowned. 'Everybodies always is wanting to make a clone for to doing their work. If you are not wanting to do your work, why would a clone of you want to do your work?
Adam Rex
16.
Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.
Adam Rex
17.
Is there a short-eared koobish, then?' Mmmyes ...' said J.Lo. 'But it is technically not really a koobish. Is more alike a kind of singing pumpkin.' We had conversations like these all the time, where I just eventually gave up.
Adam Rex
18.
For the gentle werelibrarian, who's strictly vegetarian, there's nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER
Adam Rex
19.
We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.
Adam Rex
20.
[J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of. 'It's not a police car,' I said. 'It is,' said J.Lo. 'Looknow. Lights for flashing.' 'That's true.' 'Writing on the sides.' 'Yeah, but the writing? It says ''BullShake Party Patrol.'' Yes. Whatnow?
Adam Rex
21.
Sejal had not thought of her home, or of India as a whole, as cool. She was dimly aware, however, of a white Westerner habit of wearing other cultures like T-shirts—the sticker bindis on club kids, sindoor in the hair of an unmarried pop star, Hindi characters inked carelessly on tight tank tops and pale flesh. She knew Americans liked to flash a little Indian or Japanese or African. They were always looking for a little pepper to put in their dish.
Adam Rex
22.
There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.
Adam Rex
23.
Can I see some ID?" "WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN." Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
Adam Rex
24.
What part of Canada are you from, honey?" "THE LEFT PART," said Jay.
Adam Rex
25.
Wherefor are you knowing it? If you stacked all of the Gorg in the galaxy on top of eachother, the Gorg would kill you.
Adam Rex