Art Donovan Quotes

The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up.

You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza.

We didn't have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

I have no ax to grind. I was lucky. I played. How many guys play high school, college football never play pro football?

The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore.

Both sides of my family had come from Ireland in the 19th century for the same reason: There was nothing to eat over there. Since then, I've tried to make up for the potato famine by making the potato the only vegetable that passes these lips.

I came to my first Colts training camp in July of 1950, and it was murder, absolute murder. We had a coach named Clem Crow who must have been nuts. You got to remember that I'd been a Marine, had gone through basic training and spent 26 months in the Pacific during WWII, but the Marine drill instructors had nothing on Clem.

He runs like a camel. A really pissed off camel.

Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I'd walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops.

I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

The only weight I ever lifted weighed 24 ounces. It was a Schlitz. I always replaced my fluids.

I was 17 pounds when I was born. My mother couldn't walk for three weeks.

I went to college to play football, not to study it.

I never met a cold cut I didn't like.

There's a lady up in heaven who must be very proud of the way the people in Baltimore have treated her boy from the Bronx.

I guess telling stories is an art. I never looked at it that way. I just started talking, and everyone started laughing. So I kept talking, and they kept laughing.

People tell me if I don't eat vegetables, I'm going to get scurvy. Well, what the hell. But I was never overweight as a player. There was a clause in my contract that said I had to weigh in at 270 every Friday morning. I always made it. I'd have dinner on Monday, and then I wouldn't eat until Friday.