Barry Humphries Quotes

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.

I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it's very comfortable and dependable.

It's an old Aboriginal word meaning 'Let's get together and have fun'. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

He's very, very well-known. I'd say he's world-famous in Melbourne.

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It's worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia

I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don't, if you put them first, they never thank you. You'll never get a word of thanks from them.

The whole point of art, aside from the aesthetic pleasure it yields, is that it provides a bridge to the past; that seductive land where we all find certainty and consolation. Nothing quite spans this gulf with such immediacy as the art of popular song.

I love Australia - I think.

Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.

Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.

Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn't so bad. BO chic it should be called.

I'm an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.