1.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
Bob Thaves
2.
I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.
Bob Thaves
3.
Money talks — but credit has an echo.
Bob Thaves
4.
My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.
Bob Thaves
5.
When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.
Bob Thaves
6.
I believe in facing reality. But only because I don't like turning my back on it.
Bob Thaves
7.
People used to live lives of quiet desperation - now they go on talk shows!
Bob Thaves
8.
I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.
Bob Thaves
9.
The Senate being tied is a start. Now, if only it could be gagged.
Bob Thaves
10.
It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.
Bob Thaves
11.
A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest.
Bob Thaves