Bryan Callen Quotes

Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.

Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse.

I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!

There are so many hot, sexy women in L.A.

Its always a shock to me when I get recognized.

I celebrate masculinity when I'm onstage.

My parents were really nice to me.

My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that.

As an actor, you're never busy enough.

Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason.