1.
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
2.
They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
3.
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
4.
I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
5.
Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
6.
Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
7.
I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
8.
Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
9.
I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
10.
Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
11.
I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
12.
No one has as much luck around the greens as one who practices a lot.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
13.
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
14.
When you're having trouble and topping the ball, it means the ground is moving on you.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
15.
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
16.
Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
17.
Don't look for excuses to lose. Look for excuses to win.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
18.
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!
Chi Chi Rodriguez
19.
A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
20.
I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
21.
I don't exaggerate - I just remember big.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
22.
If you buy a book on golf instruction buy the thinnest book you can find. The thinner the book, chances are the easier and more elementary the instruction. It can do one of two things: help you more or hurt you less. Both are good compared to the alternative.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
23.
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
24.
I'm playing like Tarzan-and scoring like Jane.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
25.
Take less time to read the scorecard and more time to read the hole.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
26.
When I used to gamble, I looked for players with head covers on their irons. Those guys I could beat.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
27.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
28.
The sweetest two words are 'next time.' The sourest word is 'if.'
Chi Chi Rodriguez
29.
Maintain a childhood enthusiasm for the game of golf.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
30.
He told me just to keep the ball low.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
31.
Jack Nicklaus is a legend in his spare time.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
32.
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
33.
Trevino is in a league by himself. We don't even count him. We figure when you come in second, you're a winner.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
34.
The best putting advice I ever received was make sure you concentrate real hard on keeping that darn ball real low
Chi Chi Rodriguez
35.
Playing golf is not hot work. Cutting sugar cane for a dollar a day - that's hot work. Hotter than my first wrist watch.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
36.
I was on the dance floor but I couldn't hear the band.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
37.
Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
38.
Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
39.
I have 13 dependents. All of them have 140 IQ or better, except me. I'm under 100 IQ, and I support them all.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
40.
When Lee and Jack win, it is good for golf. When I win, it is better.
Chi Chi Rodriguez