1.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
E. W. Howe
2.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
E. W. Howe
3.
Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better.
E. W. Howe
4.
There is something in the red of a raspberry pie that looks as good to a man as the red in a sheep looks to a wolf.
E. W. Howe
5.
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
E. W. Howe
6.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
E. W. Howe
7.
Loving everybody is polygamy. I care for no friend who loves his enemy equally well.
E. W. Howe
8.
It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.
E. W. Howe
9.
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
E. W. Howe
10.
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
E. W. Howe
11.
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
E. W. Howe
12.
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.
E. W. Howe
13.
Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.
E. W. Howe
14.
When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.
E. W. Howe
15.
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in
E. W. Howe
16.
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
E. W. Howe
17.
A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.
E. W. Howe
18.
I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.
E. W. Howe
19.
To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
E. W. Howe
20.
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
E. W. Howe
21.
One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool
E. W. Howe
22.
A loafer never works except when there is a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.
E. W. Howe
23.
You needn't love your enemy, but if you refrain from telling lies about him, you are doing well enough.
E. W. Howe
24.
A thief believes everybody steals.
E. W. Howe
25.
An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.
E. W. Howe
26.
Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
E. W. Howe
27.
One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.
E. W. Howe
28.
The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.
E. W. Howe
29.
Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him.
E. W. Howe
30.
A man forgets his good luck next day, but remembers his bad luck until next year.
E. W. Howe
31.
The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
E. W. Howe
32.
Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.
E. W. Howe
33.
A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
E. W. Howe
34.
The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
E. W. Howe
35.
A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
E. W. Howe
36.
The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.
E. W. Howe
37.
No man has all the wisdom in the world; everyone has some.
E. W. Howe
38.
Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.
E. W. Howe
39.
If a man takes one day off, it takes him about three days to get the harness fitted again.
E. W. Howe
40.
The most destructive criticism is indifference.
E. W. Howe
41.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
E. W. Howe
42.
When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
E. W. Howe
43.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
E. W. Howe
44.
You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
E. W. Howe
45.
Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.
E. W. Howe
46.
When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
E. W. Howe
47.
Nothing is wonderful when you get used to it.
E. W. Howe
48.
The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.
E. W. Howe
49.
A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
E. W. Howe
50.
Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.
E. W. Howe
