Funny Graduation Quotes

Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.

Become goddesses of disobedience.

The work itself is the reward, and if I choose challenging work, it'll pay me back with interest. At least I'll be interested, even if nobody else is.

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

I can tell you how bad our boards are... I don't have to watch Saturday Night Live anymore; I just go to the board meetings.

Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people's faces.

Remember that there's no one way of doing things. ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.

A relentless focus on the outward markers of success can lead to complacency. It can make you lazy.

When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

When I made coffee and Xeroxed and distributed newspapers at ABC News, I thought my life was over.

Now I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take for instance what has worked for me. Wigs. Tight clothes. Push up bras.

When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate...because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the sinking of the Titanic. And it made me very grateful at the time that he had not gone down in a plane crash.

People will say you cannot get a job in a down economy. People will say you cannot get a job that you love that will pay you well. People will say you can’t do good and do well. They’re wrong, that’s idiotic advice. People will tell you that you cannot change the world. They’re wrong too.

... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

I was a Democrat before I was a Republican before I became an independent and I never changed my principles.

I wish that someone had said to me that it's normal to feel lost for a little while.

There is no delete button for bigotry.

It's hard not to be afraid. Be less afraid.

As you set off into the world, don't be afraid to question your leaders. But don't ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.

I graduated in 1989, and I'd focused almost entirely on the Soviet Union and communism ... so when the Berlin wall fell, I was, well, I was screwed.

In this time of recession, it is the time for invention. Did you know both the telephone and the automobile were invented during recessions? So was 'talking dirty.'

I too turned to Webster's Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops.

I don't want to die ... I don't want to die poor. Two great motivators in the history of human cultures.

Whoever invented spray cheese had to have been a Harvard guy.

I've observed a few things about the few really great people I've had a chance to meet and cover...They need to be around people. You and I require sleep. They require people.

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us.