1.
Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.
Gelett Burgess
2.
To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.
Gelett Burgess
3.
There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness.
Gelett Burgess
4.
Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.
Gelett Burgess
5.
I never saw a purple cow;
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.
Gelett Burgess
6.
Hurry not a woman's favor; neither forcer her hastily to surrender to thee. For she goeth into love as she goeth into the waters at the seashore; first a hand and then a lip goeth she in by littles. She diveth not, she leapeth not from the pier; but by gentle shocks and cries of protest she entereth slowly; yet when the waters of love encompass her, then she is supported. She swimmeth in her joy; she floateth on the tide of happiness.
Gelett Burgess
7.
The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.
Gelett Burgess
8.
Old friends, we say, are best, when some sudden disillusionment shakes our faith in a new comrade.
Gelett Burgess
9.
Son, if a maiden love thee, thou shalt appear handsome in her sight; she shall praise thine eyes, and the corners of thy mouth, yea, she shall admire thy hands. Though thou wert even as the orangutan yet shall she paint thee with fancies.
Gelett Burgess
10.
If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.
Gelett Burgess
11.
The temptation to vivify the tale and make it walk abroad on its own legs is hard to deny.
Gelett Burgess
12.
Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies.
Gelett Burgess
13.
To make fun of a person to his face is a brutal way of amusing one's self; be delicate and cunning, and keep your laugh in your sleeve, lest you frighten away your game.
Gelett Burgess
14.
Most women have all other women as adversaries; most men have all other men as their allies.
Gelett Burgess
15.
It was Matisse who took the first step into the undiscovered land of the ugly.
Gelett Burgess
16.
When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.
Gelett Burgess
17.
Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.
Gelett Burgess
18.
If thou makest a statement concerning women, lo, she shall immediately try to disprove it straightway. She goeth by contraries.
Gelett Burgess
19.
Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap - even men who hate baths.
Gelett Burgess
20.
Her heart is older than her head; yea, her emotion is the mother of her reason
Gelett Burgess
21.
A good woman would rather be the mother of a genius than the wife of a hero
Gelett Burgess
22.
My feet, they haul me Round the House, They hoist me up the Stairs; I only have to steer them, and They Ride me Everywheres.
Gelett Burgess
23.
Count no matron happy until she hath passed thirty, and hath not waxed fat.
Gelett Burgess
24.
To take the world as one finds it
Gelett Burgess
25.
Repeat not the manner of a flirtation; for lo, all the world shall hear of it, and women will taunt thee.
Gelett Burgess
26.
Maxims are like lawyers who must need to see but one side of the case.
Gelett Burgess
27.
A woman findeth in her last lover much of her first love; but a man seeth his next-to-the-last love, alway.
Gelett Burgess
28.
Love endeth like the chianti flask, its drops are bitter.
Gelett Burgess
29.
Verily, men do foolish things thoughtlessly, knowing not why; but no woman doeth aught without a reason.
Gelett Burgess
30.
Tell not thy previous loves to a woman, lest she also telleth thee hers.
Gelett Burgess
31.
A maiden's first kiss cometh hard, yea, it is as the first olive out of a bottle, requiring much skill; but the rest are easy.
Gelett Burgess
32.
The old say, "I remember when." The young say, "What's the news?"
Gelett Burgess
33.
In the mind of a woman, to give birth to a child is the short cut to omniscience.
Gelett Burgess
34.
A reproof entereth more into a woman of sense than an hundred compliments into a fool.
Gelett Burgess
35.
A woman and a mouse, they carry a tale wherever they go.
Gelett Burgess
36.
Woo her not till thou hast seen her mother, for a score of years worketh wonders.
Gelett Burgess
37.
Thinking a smile all the time will keep your face youthful.
Gelett Burgess
38.
Style is doing things not in any way but in the best way.
Gelett Burgess
39.
If you wish to be positive, which means youthful, never speak of the past any more than you can help.
Gelett Burgess
40.
As the cat lapses into savagery by night, and barbarously explores the dark, so primal and titanic is a woman with the love madness.
Gelett Burgess
41.
Some women are to be captured by storm and some taken by siege; yet if there be not a traitor in her heart that shall deliver up the garrison, thou shalt not prevail over her.
Gelett Burgess
42.
No man knoweth how another man maketh his love, for women tell not.
Gelett Burgess
43.
Can a woman entertain a man and a pet at the same time? I say unto thee, one of the twain shall suffer jealousy.
Gelett Burgess
44.
It is in the blood of genius to love play for its own sake, and whether one uses one's skill on thrones or women, swords or pens, gold or fame, the game's the thing.
Gelett Burgess
45.
Many a maid have I won by a quarrel, when flattery was in no wise helpful; but take heed that thou art in the wrong, so that thou mayest acknowledge thine error.
Gelett Burgess
46.
There is indeed no such thing in life as absolute darkness; one's eyes revolt and hasten to fill the vacuum by floating in sparks, dream patterns, figures whimsical and figures grotesque, shifting and clad in complementary colors, to appease the indignant cups and rods of the retina.
Gelett Burgess
47.
As the dog becomes thoroughbred in the laws of clan and caste; obedient, fraternal and loyal; so is the man who accepts the gentleman's code.
Gelett Burgess
48.
Seek one woman whom thou canst trust, and to her who lovest thee best, tell thy secrets. She will deliver thee from the hands of strange women, she will expose their craft; and of her who flattereth thee, will she make known the reason.
Gelett Burgess
49.
Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow" - I'm sorry, now, I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!
Gelett Burgess
50.
My son, beware of a plain damsel who charmeth thee, for she needeth much wile, and useth diverse weapons.
Gelett Burgess