1.
She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.
Joan Rivers
2.
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
Joan Rivers
3.
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
4.
I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.
Joan Rivers
5.
I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.
Joan Rivers
6.
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
Joan Rivers
7.
She's so fat, she's my two best friends.
Joan Rivers