Jeff Stilson Quotes

Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.

There's only one thing that separates us from animals: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.'

I'm not married. I hope to be someday so I can stop exercising.

Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who has the hearing aid.