Jerk Quotes

I pride myself on being a jerk, because I'm brutally honest all the time.

I do what I do for the people who believe in me, not for the jerks who don't.

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

Be respectful to your peers and yourself, of course. Don't be a jerk. But at the same time don't settle for anything less than yourself.

Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

In a democracy everybody has a right to be represented, including the jerks.

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.

I could be a real jerk on the days I was pitching.

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks.

It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks.

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

For every 10 good things, there's always some jerk that wants to say something bad.

What is success anyway? Is success about making the most money? No. Money, for the most part, turns people into jerks.

Donald Trump is not a jerk. He's a friend of ours.

Why do women go out with jerks? Because jerks ask.

I don't need some jerk like Romney, Santorum, Obama, Bush, Clinton or the rest of them telling me that they're my leaders. They couldn't lead me across the street.

I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.

What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit.

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.

The Worst part of acting like a jerk isn't when you're doing it. Its when you realize you were.

In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks.

I jerk off 'til I bust blood.

I'm not sure I'm okay with 2 guys gettin' married, but I don't wanna be a jerk about it.

I was born a poor black child.

I've dated jerks, so why not geeks?

You know, you've got fans and 99.9 percent of them are great-and .1 percent are jerks.

Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

I know what it's like to meet someone you admire and have them be a complete jerk.

I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am.

Hemmingway was a jerk.

I am always the 'good guy,' and I take on the idiotic jerks of the nation.

All guys are jerks but they get hotter with age and we learn to be more tolerant.

I'm not afraid to be a jerk or anything and laugh at myself anymore.

I will never grow thick skin, so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

Elections are a Western jerk-off.

If everyone really knew what a jerk I am in real life, I wouldn't be so adored in the slightest.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.

The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other.

I've been a jerk on the internet since the internet started.

If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble. And Henry was 95 percent.

My liberal friends are such a bunch soft-headed, politically correct jerks.

It never made sense to me that someone would achieve any kind of success in show business, only to become a jerk.

Don’t be friends with jerks.

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.

There's something about a guy who admits he's a jerk that makes him forgiveable.

Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker.

How do you keep people from jerking your chain? Don't give your chain to jerks!