1.
I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
Bob Hope
2.
Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.
Lil Wayne
3.
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
Bob Hope
4.
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
5.
And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke?
Syd Barrett
8.
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.
Peter J. Carroll
9.
It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.
Mitt Romney
10.
The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
Dick Gregory
11.
He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.
Georg Brandes
12.
Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes.
George Orwell
13.
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.
Berkeley Breathed
16.
Some people, they just don't get a joke.
Glenn Frey
18.
My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.
Billy Childish
19.
[Elbowing incident] was a joke but what I want to say now is that I'm a bit sad that everyone failed to see that.
Seungri
20.
Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs.
Langston Hughes
22.
I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
Glen Campbell
26.
Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.
Muhammad Ali
27.
I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.
Bruce Forsyth
28.
I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
Don Rickles
30.
A professional writer is a joke. You write because you can't do anything else, and then you have another job.
Jamaica Kincaid
31.
I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.
Alice Walker
32.
I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.
Johnny Depp
33.
Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.
Niels Bohr
34.
Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.
Donald Glover
35.
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
36.
When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke
Bob Dylan
39.
In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington.
Rich Little
40.
Anything where we're the butt of the joke, no one tells us about it.
Chris Martin
41.
Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.
Steven Wright
42.
I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.
Milton Berle
43.
We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke.
Malaclypse the Younger
44.
In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.
Lea Thompson
45.
There was always another side to a joke, the side of the victim.
Graham Greene
46.
To me, music is no joke and it's not for sale.
Ian MacKaye
47.
If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.
Ricky Gervais
48.
I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
Don Rickles
49.
Really, I'm pretty laid-back, always cracking jokes.
Chace Crawford
50.
I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.
Don Rickles