Jokes Quotes

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke?

A symphony is no joke.

Desegregation is a joke.

Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.

It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.

Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes.

Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.

One of my secrets is to joke all the time.

I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.

Some people, they just don't get a joke.

[Elbowing incident] was a joke but what I want to say now is that I'm a bit sad that everyone failed to see that.

My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.

Life must go on, even if it's no joke...just pretend to believe in the future.

Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs.

You name any horrific thing, and I can make a joke out of it.

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.

Life is a joke that's just begun.

I never told a joke in my life.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

I don't do jokes. The characters are my jokes.

A professional writer is a joke. You write because you can't do anything else, and then you have another job.

I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.

Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl.

If life's a joke, then suicide's a bad punch line.

In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington.

Anything where we're the butt of the joke, no one tells us about it.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.

We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke.

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

There was always another side to a joke, the side of the victim.

To me, music is no joke and it's not for sale.

If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

Really, I'm pretty laid-back, always cracking jokes.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.