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Jokes Quotes

1.
I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
Bob Hope

Authors on Jokes Quotes: Don Rickles Jon Stewart Kurt Vonnegut Ricky Gervais Stephen Colbert Amy Schumer Sarah Silverman Margaret Cho Jimmy Carr Henny Youngman Jim Gaffigan Mark Hoppus Mark Russell Dave Attell Dave Chappelle Bob Hope Judd Apatow Rita Rudner Michael Scott Tavi Gevinson Langston Hughes Lil Wayne Desi Arnaz Mitch Hedberg Ann Coulter Steve Martin Glenn Frey Adam Brody Marshall McLuhan Bob Dylan Richard Kalvar Katie Dippold Damon Lindelof
2.
Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.
Lil Wayne

3.
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
Bob Hope

4.
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman

5.
And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke?
Syd Barrett

6.
A symphony is no joke.
Johannes Brahms

7.
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.
Peter J. Carroll

8.
Desegregation is a joke.
Nina Simone

9.
It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.
Mitt Romney

10.
He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.
Georg Brandes

11.
The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
Dick Gregory

12.
Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes.
George Orwell

13.
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.
Berkeley Breathed

14.
One of my secrets is to joke all the time.
Achille Castiglioni

15.
I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
Billie Joe Armstrong

16.
Some people, they just don't get a joke.
Glenn Frey

17.
Life must go on, even if it's no joke...just pretend to believe in the future.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine

18.
My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.
Billy Childish

19.
[Elbowing incident] was a joke but what I want to say now is that I'm a bit sad that everyone failed to see that.
Seungri

20.
Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs.
Langston Hughes

21.
You name any horrific thing, and I can make a joke out of it.
Quentin Tarantino

22.
I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
Glen Campbell

23.
I never told a joke in my life.
Andy Kaufman

24.
Life is a joke that's just begun.
W. S. Gilbert

25.
When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
Robin Williams

26.
Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.
Muhammad Ali

27.
I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.
Bruce Forsyth

28.
I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
Don Rickles

29.
I don't do jokes. The characters are my jokes.
Jonathan Winters

30.
A professional writer is a joke. You write because you can't do anything else, and then you have another job.
Jamaica Kincaid

31.
I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.
Alice Walker

32.
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange

33.
I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.
Johnny Depp

34.
Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.
Niels Bohr

35.
Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.
Donald Glover

36.
When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke
Bob Dylan

37.
It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl.
Afrika Bambaataa

38.
If life's a joke, then suicide's a bad punch line.
Louise Erdrich

39.
In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington.
Rich Little

40.
Anything where we're the butt of the joke, no one tells us about it.
Chris Martin

41.
Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.
Steven Wright

42.
I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.
Milton Berle

43.
We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke.
Malaclypse the Younger

44.
I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.
Jon Stewart

45.
In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.
Lea Thompson

46.
There was always another side to a joke, the side of the victim.
Graham Greene

47.
To me, music is no joke and it's not for sale.
Ian MacKaye

48.
If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.
Ricky Gervais

49.
I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
Don Rickles

50.
Really, I'm pretty laid-back, always cracking jokes.
Chace Crawford