Jokes Quotes

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke?

A symphony is no joke.

Desegregation is a joke.

Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.

It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes.

Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.

One of my secrets is to joke all the time.

I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.

Some people, they just don't get a joke.

[Elbowing incident] was a joke but what I want to say now is that I'm a bit sad that everyone failed to see that.

Life must go on, even if it's no joke...just pretend to believe in the future.

My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.

Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs.

You name any horrific thing, and I can make a joke out of it.

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.

Life is a joke that's just begun.

I never told a joke in my life.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

A professional writer is a joke. You write because you can't do anything else, and then you have another job.

I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

I don't do jokes. The characters are my jokes.

Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl.

When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke

In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington.

Anything where we're the butt of the joke, no one tells us about it.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.

We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke.

If life's a joke, then suicide's a bad punch line.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

My favorite Aggie joke? I'm sorry I don't understand the question

Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong.

In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.

I start with the joke line and write backward.

I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.