Josh Lieb Quotes

Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

You don't have to be a genius when you're surrounded by morons.

Important days don't look like anything special when they start. Invariably, the sun rises and people wake up. Coffee is swilled and eggs are swallowed. Everybody goes about the business of acting like their lives matter and then, no matter how important the events of the day end up being, the sun invariably sets. The sun rose before the soldiers stormed Omaha Beach on D-Day, and the sun set after Archduke Franz Ferdinand was killed. Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it.

According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free.

I am amused when goody-goodies proclaim, from the safety of their armchairs, that children are naturally prejudice-free, that they only learn to "hate" from listening to bigoted adults. Nonsense. Tolerance is a learned trait, like riding a bike or playing the piano. Those of us who actually live among children, who see them in their natural environment, know the truth: Left to their own devices, children will gang up on and abuse anyone who is even slightly different from the norm.

Insanity is just what we call stupidity when it doesn't make sense.

Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess.

I thought I was going to be a poet when I was in college, but then I found out I was poor so I decided to do something I'd get paid for.

The more you write, the faster you'll write, and the less you'll mind throwing stuff out.

Crime is for poor people. You don't need to rob the bank if you own it.

I can't focus on any one day, because I always have to be ready for the next. It's fun but frenetic - like living in a circus that never stops performing.

Write a lot. And I mean a ridiculous amount. You have to write so much that you don't mind throwing away and changing things that you've written - which is the second thing you have to do. A lot of young writers are very precious about their words. Don't be - you've got to be ready to burn stuff. You're not as good as you think you are, at least not yet. The more you write, the faster you'll write, and the less you'll mind throwing stuff out.

A lot of young writers are very precious about their words. Don't be - you've got to be ready to burn stuff. You're not as good as you think you are, at least not yet.

It's interesting, on your second day of existence, to realize that your father is going to blame all the future failures of his life on you.

All my businesses are scrupulously legal. Not because I have any moral problems with crime. It just makes my life easier to obey the law. Crime is for poor people; you don't need to rob the bank if you own it.

If you want to do this - either write for TV, or write books - the first thing you have to do is write a lot. And I mean a ridiculous amount.

Fahrenheit 451 is one of those books that is about how amazing books are and how amazing the people who write books are. Writers love writing books like this, and for some reason, we let them get away with it.

I have to start writing down things that happen, or I'll forget my life entirely.

I keep my TV writing and my book writing almost wholly separate. The audiences feel so different.

You have to know writing styles well before you can copy them - and then incorporate parts of them into your own style.

I read an awful lot in college - a lot of Dickens, a lot of 19th century American stuff, a lot of old mysteries. Maybe it's helped me attain a certain fluidity with my style.

I was an English major in college, though I ended up getting my degree in "General Stduies" because my grades were too bad to qualify for an English degree.

I'm the producer of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," so I definitely have an exciting day job.