1.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Kin Hubbard
2.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard
3.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Kin Hubbard
4.
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Kin Hubbard
5.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
Kin Hubbard
6.
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Kin Hubbard
7.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
Kin Hubbard
8.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
Kin Hubbard
9.
The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Kin Hubbard
10.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Kin Hubbard
11.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Kin Hubbard
12.
In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
Kin Hubbard
13.
We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard
14.
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
Kin Hubbard
15.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Kin Hubbard
16.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Kin Hubbard
17.
There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
Kin Hubbard
18.
Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.
Kin Hubbard
19.
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
Kin Hubbard
20.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
Kin Hubbard
21.
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
Kin Hubbard
22.
One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.
Kin Hubbard
23.
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
Kin Hubbard
24.
A loafer always has the correct time.
Kin Hubbard
25.
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
Kin Hubbard
26.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Kin Hubbard
27.
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.
Kin Hubbard
28.
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
Kin Hubbard
29.
Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion
Kin Hubbard
30.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Kin Hubbard
31.
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
Kin Hubbard
32.
It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.
Kin Hubbard
33.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
Kin Hubbard
34.
"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
Kin Hubbard
35.
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
Kin Hubbard
36.
Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
Kin Hubbard
37.
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
Kin Hubbard
38.
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
Kin Hubbard
39.
Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.
Kin Hubbard
40.
About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.
Kin Hubbard
41.
All the world loves a good loser.
Kin Hubbard
42.
There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
Kin Hubbard
43.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Kin Hubbard
44.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
Kin Hubbard
45.
Many a family tree needs trimming
Kin Hubbard
46.
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
Kin Hubbard
47.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
Kin Hubbard
48.
Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
Kin Hubbard
49.
Who remembers when we used to rest on Sunday instead of Monday?
Kin Hubbard
50.
I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.
Kin Hubbard
