1.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain
Do not engage in verbal sparring with those of limited intellect, for they will drag you to their level and outwit you through practice.
2.
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.
Mark Twain
Experience life intensely; Forge unconventional paths. Easily pardon, Savour passionate kisses. Adore deeply. Roar with unrestrained amusement And never be sorry for Anything that gives you joy.
3.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Mark Twain
Evade individuals who attempt to demean your aspirations. Petty persons always do that, however the genuinely remarkable make you feel that you, as well, can be extraordinary.
4.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
Leaders and nappies must be altered frequently, and for a similar motive.
5.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Generosity is the dialect which the hearing-impaired can comprehend and the sightless can discern.
6.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain
The two most pivotal days in your life are the day of your birth and the day you recognize your purpose.
7.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Mark Twain
'If you don't keep up with current events, you're in the dark. If you do follow them, you're misguided.'
8.
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Mark Twain
The more I acquaint myself with humanity, the greater my appreciation for my canine companion.
9.
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
Mark Twain
"It is remarkably simple to deceive others with a falsehood, yet incredibly difficult to rectify the damage caused!"
10.
You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends
Mark Twain
You encounter individuals who neglect you. You overlook people you come across. But every so often you meet those people who remain in your memory. Those are your 'allies'.
11.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.
Mark Twain
Allow each day to have the potential to become the most remarkable day of your life.
12.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Mark Twain
'Never permit someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their alternative.'
13.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
'The passing of years is a mental construct; if you don't give it consideration, it has no relevance.'
14.
If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.
Mark Twain
If casting ballots had any impact they wouldn't permit us to do it.
15.
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.
Mark Twain
Anxiety is like squandering a sum you don't possess.
16.
To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.
Mark Twain
To achieve greatness, true greatness, one must be the type of individual who invigorates those in their presence to succeed.
17.
The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.
Mark Twain
18.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
Mark Twain
The key to progress is initiation. The means of initiating is breaking down complicated, daunting duties into minor achievable tasks, and tackling the first one.
19.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Imagine you were a fool, and consider if you were a legislator; however I am reiterating myself.
20.
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.
Mark Twain
The issue with the world is not lack of understanding; it's that too many people accept false information as truth.
21.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
Reconciliation is the aroma the violet emits on the foot that has trampled it.
22.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
It is prudent to take a step back when you find yourself in agreement with the masses.
23.
Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.
Mark Twain
Achievement is an odyssey, not a terminus. It necessitates persistent exertion, attentiveness and reconsideration.
24.
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Mark Twain
When I was 17, my father was so foolish, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was astounded at how much the elder had acquired in merely 7 years.
25.
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
Mark Twain
'Don't spend your resources researching your lineage; enter public office and your rival will do the legwork for you.'
26.
Just because you’re taught that something’s right and everyone believes it’s right, it don’t make it right.
Mark Twain
'It is possible for the majority opinion to be wrong, even if it is widely accepted.'
27.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Resentment is a corrosive force that can inflict more damage on the holder than any object it is released upon.
28.
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
Mark Twain
If we would comprehend the essential nature of humanity, we need only observe it in the season of voting.
29.
Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.
Mark Twain
Concentrate on your ambition instead of your misgivings, and the aspiration will look after itself.
30.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
Be honest and you won't need to recall anything.
31.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
Mark Twain
No quantity of proof will ever sway a fool.
32.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
God ordained conflict so that Americans would gain knowledge of geography.
33.
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
Unending advancement is preferable to postponed excellence.
34.
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
"Among God's creatures, the cat is the only one that cannot be restrained by a leash. If man were to be blended with cats, it would enhance humanity; however, it would diminish felines."
35.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mark Twain
The typical female would prefer appearance over intellect, since the usual male can observe more clearly than cogitate.
36.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
Mark Twain
If you rescue a famished canine and make him affluent he will not nip you. This is the primary contrast between a canine and human.
37.
Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
Mark Twain
'Some individuals obtain their knowledge without attending a university, while the remainder gain it upon graduation.'
38.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
Mark Twain
Defer what can be accomplished just as effectively the following day instead of tomorrow.
39.
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
Mark Twain
The challenge is not in sacrificing for an ally, but in discovering an ally deserving of such devotion.
40.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Carry out an honorable action. It will please some and astound the others.
41.
If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.
Mark Twain
'If talking was intended to outweigh listening, we would have been given two mouths instead of one ear.'
42.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
'The sole method of preserving your wellbeing is to consume what you abhor, imbibe what you detest, and perform what you'd rather avoid.'
43.
It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right
Mark Twain
It is preferable to be an idealist who sometimes errs rather than a cynic who is always accurate.
44.
Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.
Mark Twain
'The consequence of errors can serve as a lesson for making sound decisions.'
45.
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
Never debate with an imbecile, observers may not be capable of discerning the contrast.
46.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Beware of studying medical literature; a typo might prove fatal.
47.
You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.
Mark Twain
You experience a sense of exuberant liberation and contentment on a raft.
48.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
It is unsurprising that reality surpasses imagination; after all, fabrication must be plausible.
49.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
Do not expect the universe to provide for you merely because you exist. The cosmos is indifferent; it preceded your presence.
50.
An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
Mark Twain
A receptive outlook leaves a possibility for someone to impart a valuable insight.
