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Stephan Pastis Quotes

Stephan Pastis Quotes
1.
When I was at the University of California at Berkeley, I went to some classes that must have had more than four hundred students in them. I almost always sat in the far back of the auditorium so I could read the newspaper. I remember that I stayed late one day to ask the professor a question, and when I got up to him, all I could think to myself was, 'So this is what the professor looks like.
Stephan Pastis

2.
Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for someone who has a food stain on their shirt or food in their teeth, as if to say, 'Your fashion sense is so offensive I'm assuming it's some sort of accident you'll want to fix.
Stephan Pastis

3.
Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.
Stephan Pastis

4.
When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.
Stephan Pastis

5.
I recently forced myself to read a book on quantum physics, just to try and learn something new. I was confused by the middle of the first sentence and it all went downhill from there. The only thing I can remember learning is that a parallel universe can theoretically be contained on the head of a needle. I don't really know what that means, but I am now more careful handling needles.
Stephan Pastis

Similar Authors: Ralph Waldo Emerson William Shakespeare Donald Trump Mahatma Gandhi Barack Obama Rush Limbaugh Henry David Thoreau Friedrich Nietzsche Mark Twain Rajneesh Cassandra Clare C. S. Lewis Albert Einstein Oscar Wilde Thomas Jefferson
6.
If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.
Stephan Pastis

7.
I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.
Stephan Pastis

8.
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.
Stephan Pastis

Quote Topics by Stephan Pastis: Writing People Thinking Book Peanuts Want Pages Running Distance Space Cutting Add Reading California Real Ends Drawing Hoaxes Talking Done Wife Blenders Generations Law Term Expression Schedules Crush Fashion Hands
9.
I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'great fixer-upper'. Just once, I'd like them to show me a house and declare, 'This one's a piece of crap'.
Stephan Pastis

10.
Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.
Stephan Pastis

11.
I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.
Stephan Pastis

12.
Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)
Stephan Pastis

13.
If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.
Stephan Pastis

14.
The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.
Stephan Pastis

15.
A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know what they think.
Stephan Pastis

16.
The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.
Stephan Pastis

17.
If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.
Stephan Pastis

18.
I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first.
Stephan Pastis

19.
Basically, I learned to read by reading 'Peanuts,' just wanting to know what they were saying.
Stephan Pastis

20.
You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.
Stephan Pastis

21.
We need more cartoonists to truly retire when they retire, and not run repeats.
Stephan Pastis

22.
Repeats are the absolute soul-crushing killers of the comics page.
Stephan Pastis

23.
When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.
Stephan Pastis

24.
My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend...If it weren’t for her, I’d be happy.
Stephan Pastis

25.
If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.
Stephan Pastis