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Stewart Francis Quotes

1.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
Stewart Francis

2.
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me
Stewart Francis

3.
I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified
Stewart Francis

4.
Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.
Stewart Francis

5.
My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic."
Stewart Francis

Similar Authors: Ralph Waldo Emerson William Shakespeare Donald Trump Mahatma Gandhi Barack Obama Rush Limbaugh Henry David Thoreau Friedrich Nietzsche Mark Twain Rajneesh Cassandra Clare C. S. Lewis Albert Einstein Oscar Wilde Thomas Jefferson
6.
My father is schizophrenia, but he's good people.
Stewart Francis

7.
So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world.
Stewart Francis

8.
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
Stewart Francis

Quote Topics by Stewart Francis: What If Dad Giving Wonder Voice Kids Armageddon Saws Kim Together Mirrors Therapists Sex Use Karaoke Thinking Play Father Excuse Ends Bridges Parks Quitting Names Looks Jobs Arses End Of The World Ships West
9.
So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world.
Stewart Francis

10.
I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice
Stewart Francis

11.
Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear.
Stewart Francis

12.
You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.
Stewart Francis

13.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice.
Stewart Francis

14.
Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West
Stewart Francis

15.
Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived.
Stewart Francis