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Ass Quotes

1.
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
Martin Luther

'A content fart never emanates from a disgruntled posterior.'
Authors on Ass Quotes: Dwayne Johnson Nicki Minaj Mark Twain Ambrose Bierce Stone Cold Steve Austin Joe Teti Miguel de Cervantes Mark Cuban Friedrich Nietzsche Charlie Munger Mark Rippetoe John Marston Demi Lovato Samuel L. Jackson Gene Simmons J. B. Smoove John Cena Brené Brown Dennis Miller Jill Scott Lil Wayne Muhammad Ali Michel de Montaigne Frederic Chopin Jim Butcher William Shakespeare Charles Dickens Martin Luther Eminem Oliver Stone James Carlos Blake Doug Stanhope Oscar Wilde
2.
I'll open up a can of whoop-ass on you!
Stone Cold Steve Austin

I'll give you an old-fashioned thrashing!
3.
I'm telling you this - if Stone Cold comes back out, somebody's going to get their ass whipped!
Stone Cold Steve Austin

I'm warning you - if Stone Cold reappears, someone is in for a thrashing!
4.
You want mercy? Take your ass to church!
Stone Cold Steve Austin

'Seeking absolution? Go to the House of Worship!'
5.
You gonna do somethin'? or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?
Wyatt Earp

Are you going to take action or remain inactive and suffer?
6.
Have I played the part well? Then applaud as I exit.
Augustus

Have I portrayed the role successfully? Give me a standing ovation as I depart.
7.
Faith is rarely where your head is at. Nor is it where your heart is at. Faith is where your ass is at!
Daniel Berrigan

'Confidence is seldom the result of mental calculations. Nor does it come from emotion alone. Confidence is found in action!'
8.
He "wasn't used to being criticized, and he never did get it through his head that's what politics is all about. He was used to getting his ass kissed."
Harry S. Truman

He was unaccustomed to being censured, and he never fully comprehended that this is what politics entails. He was accustomed to receiving flattery.
9.
Our countrymen have all the folly of the ass and all the passiveness of the sheep.
Alexander Hamilton

Our compatriots possess all the foolishness of the donkey and all the docility of the lamb.
10.
Kickin', ass takin' names, cashing checks, and breakin necks, the champ is here.
John Cena

Crushing rivals, conquering adversaries, collecting payouts, and pulverizing opposition, the victor has arrived.
11.
A man sufficiently gifted with humor is in small danger of succumbing to flattering delusions about himself, because he cannot help perceiving what a pompous ass he would become if he did.
Konrad Lorenz

12.
Change doesn't begin when we get knocked on our ass. It begins the moment we decide to get back up on our own feet
Dwayne Johnson

13.
At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your ass.
Catherine Deneuve

14.
Develop a built-in bullshit detector.
Ernest Hemingway

15.
I do know dumb-ass questions when I see dumb-ass questions.
Orrin Hatch

16.
Work your ass off. Don't be an asshole.
Stefan Sagmeister

17.
Even a kick in the ass is good when you're facing the right direction.
Elie Tahari

18.
You don't need a bus pass, for me to bust yo ass, nigga.
Lil Wayne

19.
I had rather ride on an ass that carries me than a horse that throws me.
George Herbert

20.
Bad as I wanna be. She aint bad, she a sad little wannabe.
Nicki Minaj

21.
Love is nothing but a pain in the ass
Ava Gardner

22.
You were an ass long before I made one outta ya!
Shawn Michaels

23.
Bite your teeth into the ass of life.
Ian Holm

24.
This dance isn't just about shaking your waist and your ass.
Nagwa Fouad

25.
My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.
Samuel L. Jackson

26.
The thirst for knowledge is like a piece of ass you know you shouldn't chase; in the end, you chase it just the same.
George Pelecanos

27.
You tell Anderson Silva that I'm coming over and I'm kicking down his backdoor and patting his little lady on the ass and I'm telling her to make me a steak, medium-rare just how I like it.
Chael Sonnen

28.
Get over it people, I worked my ass off.
Phil Heath

29.
What is said behind my back is said to my ass.
Georges Clemenceau

30.
Furiously and gorgeously write your ass off.
Bob Hicok

31.
Who knows himself a braggart, Let him fear this; for it will come to pass That every braggart will be found an ass.
William Shakespeare

32.
You know what wakes me up? A tongue in the ass. There is no alarm clock on that one, you are up, you are shaking, you are in a karate stance.....the day has begun.
Dave Attell

33.
I've made an ass of myself so many times I often wonder if I am one.
Norman Mailer

34.
What you think about, talk about, and get off your ass and do something about, comes about.
Larry Winget

35.
Mr Speaker, I withdraw my statement that half the cabinet are asses - half the cabinet are not asses.
Benjamin Disraeli

36.
I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.
Heinrich Heine

37.
To some its Hump Day. To us, it's Wednesday's getting its ass kicked and Thursday just asked Friday to switch places.
Dwayne Johnson

38.
Accumulating injuries are the price we pay for the thrill of not having sat around on our asses.
Mark Rippetoe

39.
You really have to humble yourself and take your ass whippings to understand that you can learn something from somebody
Dominick Cruz

40.
Money will brainwash you and leave your ass mindless.
Eminem

41.
Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
G. Gordon Liddy

42.
I worked my ass off to earn what I have. You have to understand, not many people where I come from get to experience this kind of life.
Conor McGregor

43.
I can't be paralyzed anymore by the critics. My new mantra is, if you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, then I'm not interested in your feedback. You don't get to sit in the cheat seat and criticize my appearance or my work with mean-spiritedness if you're also not in the arena.
Brené Brown

44.
They call me Seymour Butts, cause I get more ass than most.
Ludacris

45.
LIGHTNING WILL SHOOT FROM MY ASS!!!
John Cena

46.
Fortunately, I knew the cardinal rule of getting on with one's fellow cooks. It applies in any kitchen and can be summed up in two short words: bust ass.
Jacques Pepin

47.
Girl, don't make me put my foot in your ass.
Samuel L. Jackson

48.
If you're getting paid more than me, I'm definitely more excited about this ass whoopin I'm gonna put down on you.
Nick Diaz

49.
I'm ambidextrous, I slap ass with both hands.
Ludacris

50.
Pompous asses knows how to put the moan in sanctimonious.
Andy Hargreaves