1.
Peace is a certificate you get in the grave.
Peter Tosh
Equilibrium is an accolade one obtains in death.
2.
A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate.
Donald Trump
3.
How many McDonald's gift certificates would it take to sway a lot of Americans to pledge to never publicly criticize the U.S, President?
James Bovard
6.
No one has ever asked to see my degree certificate.
David Hockney
7.
Bonds are guaranteed certificates of confiscation
Franz Pick
8.
I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
Les Dawson
9.
I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
Karl Pilkington
10.
Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression.
Peter D. Kramer
12.
My stepmother sold my birth certificate and someone asked why I didn't buy it back. I don't know, really. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was mine. It cost me nothing and suddenly I had to buy it back.
Paul McCartney
13.
Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
George Lopez
14.
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
15.
Did you see my ninja move?That was fast, right?" "You are not a ninja, Shane." "I've watched all the movies. I just haven't gotten the certificate from the correspondence course yet.
Rachel Caine
16.
Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed his will to man. To each reader the Bible conveys a different meaning.
Robert Green Ingersoll