Dick Van Dyke Quotes

We should never judge a day by its weather.

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to the script.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Attitude is almost more important than what happens to you.

You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.

I didn't know the answers, but I could feel that the things that gave life meaning came from a place within and from the nurturing of values like tolerance, charity, and community.

I never had a lot of drive, but because I had family responsibilities, I had a lot of tenacity - the tenacity of a drowning man.

Walt Disney and I always said we were two children looking for our inner adults.

One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. I spent a lot of happy hours at Stan's house on Sundays just talking about comedy.

I wanted to be Stan Laurel, then I wanted to be Fred Astaire and then Captain Kangaroo. I actually started out as a radio announcer when I was 17 and never left the business so that's literally 70 years.

When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.

People think I'm talking like I'm in perfect health, but I have all the infirmities for my age. I have arthritis and all those things. But if you keep moving, that won't bother you.

Hope is life's essential nutrient, and love is what gives life meaning

In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living.

If you spend your life thinking, "I wonder if today is when it ends," you're going to miss out on everything wonderful.

I taught Sunday school when I was younger, and ended up an elder in the church, and it just seemed to me that a lot of people who went to church certainly weren't - the rest of the week - living what I would call an Christian life.

I was a 'Laurel and Hardy' nut. I got to know Laurel at the end of his life, and it was a great thrill for me. He left me his bow tie and derby and told me that if they ever made a movie about him, he'd want me to play him.

The secret to keeping moving is keeping moving.

Somebody asked what I wanted on my gravestone. I'm just going to put: 'Glad I Could Help.'

Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.

I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.

All of us involved say 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the best five years of our lives. We were like otters at play.

I worked nightclubs all through my 20s, and I was a teetotaler.

Some people never change their mind through their whole lives, about anything, despite new information that comes in. And now that we know that homosexuality is not a choice, it's biological, I think we have to love and understand them.

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and Laura were really married in real life. You know, a lot of people believed that.

Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

I'm the anti-Quentin Tarantino.

You need someone to love, and something to do that you enjoy, and something to hope for, and that's enough for me.

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show business. I didn't move in show business circles, particularly, still don't do it.

Longevity in my family's been pretty good. And my grandparents were pretty spry at their age, so I figured I'd probably stay skinny and fairly agile. I used to do old men all the time in sketches. And there used to be an organization called the Gray Panthers. And they would send me, oh, terrible letters about making fun of old people. And I would just always say, "I'm playing the old person I intend to become!"

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.

There are people with their iPads are taking pictures so much that they're not experiencing the moment. They go home and look at the pictures later.

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was the first time we won an Emmy, that the show won an Emmy. That was a big night.

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was working after school and weekends. I did the news; I did everything. I did - played records.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I can't work with my brother without laughing.

I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.

As wonderful as they were, my parents didn't teach me anything about self-discipline, concentration, patience, or focus. If I hadn't had a family myself, I probably never would've done anything. Marriage taught me responsibility.

I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third generation for me. And when kids that small recognize me, it really pleases me, very gratifying.

I was lucky to get the kinds of parts I wanted. I always said I didn't want to do anything my kids can't see.

Emotionally I'm about 13.

Once you get the kids raised and the mortgage paid off and accomplish what you wanted to do in life, there's a great feeling of: 'Hey, I'm free as a bird.'

Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and then Carl sent me about eight scripts and simply I threw my idea out the window because the writing was just so good.

I have two kids who were like me, we get out of bed feeling good, and the other two would sit at the breakfast table and grumble. I think it's born into us. I usually wake up feeling pretty good. Looking forward to the day.

I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.

I decided, when I started having kids, that I'd try not to do anything that I wouldn't be proud for them to see. I've kind of stuck with that, and I don't regret that at all, although I've lost money and passed up a lot of projects because of it. But I feel good about that.

'Mary Poppins' was one of the best experiences of my life.

I had an uncle who had a car with a rumble seat, and I used to love to ride in that thing. I mentioned this to some kids, and they were like, "What are you even talking about?"