1.
The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.
Douglas William Jerrold
2.
Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest.
Douglas William Jerrold
3.
After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.
Douglas William Jerrold
4.
A coquette is like a recruiting sergeant, always on the lookout for fresh victims.
Douglas William Jerrold
5.
A man never so beautifully shows his own strength as when he respects a woman's softness.
Douglas William Jerrold
6.
He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks.
Douglas William Jerrold
7.
Quality, not quantity, is my measure.
Douglas William Jerrold
8.
Marriage is like wine. It is not be properly judged until the second glass.
Douglas William Jerrold
9.
A man is in no danger so long as he talks his love; but to write it is to impale himself on his own pothooks.
Douglas William Jerrold
10.
Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic.
Douglas William Jerrold
11.
He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that, in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain.
Douglas William Jerrold
12.
Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens.
Douglas William Jerrold
13.
A blessed companion is a book! A book that, fitly chosen, is a life-long friend. A book — the unfailing Damon to his loving Pythias. A book that — at a touch — pours its heart into our own.
Douglas William Jerrold
14.
There is peace more destructive of the manhood of living man than war is destructive of his material body.
Douglas William Jerrold
15.
What a fine-looking thing is war!
Yet, dress it as we may, dress and feather it, daub it with gold, huzza it, and sing swaggering songs about it,--what is it, nine times out of ten, but murder in uniform!
Douglas William Jerrold
16.
Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it.
Douglas William Jerrold
17.
A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon out of respect for that 'ancient institution' the old one.
Douglas William Jerrold
18.
The blackest of fluid is used as an agent to enlighten the world.
Douglas William Jerrold
19.
The language of women should be luminous, but not voluminous.
Douglas William Jerrold
20.
He who owns the soil, owns up to the sky.
Douglas William Jerrold
21.
Slugs crawl and crawl over our cabbages, like the world's slander over a good name. You may kill them, it is true; but there is the slime.
Douglas William Jerrold
22.
A man, so to speak, who is not able to bow to his own conscience every morning is hardly in a condition to respectfully salute the world at any other time of the day.
Douglas William Jerrold
23.
Not peace at any price! Chains are worse than bayonets.
Douglas William Jerrold
24.
If slander be a snake, it is a winged one - it flies as well as creeps.
Douglas William Jerrold
25.
Intemperance is the epitome of every crime, the cause of every kind of misery.
Douglas William Jerrold
26.
A pill that the present moment is daily bread to thousands.
Douglas William Jerrold
27.
Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together.
Douglas William Jerrold
28.
Luck, mere luck may make even madness wisdom.
Douglas William Jerrold
29.
Gravity is more suggestive than convincing.
Douglas William Jerrold
30.
Don't buy a single vote more than necessary.
Douglas William Jerrold
31.
Religion is in the heart, not in the knees.
Douglas William Jerrold
32.
Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks.
Douglas William Jerrold
33.
There are a good many pious people who are as careful of their religion as of their best service of china, only using it on holy occasions, for fear it should get chipped or flawed in working-day wear.
Douglas William Jerrold
34.
Jewels! It's my belief that when woman was made, jewels were invented only to make her the more mischievous.
Douglas William Jerrold
35.
Wits, like drunken men with swords, are apt to draw their steel upon their best acquaintances.
Douglas William Jerrold
36.
Malice blunts the point of wit.
Douglas William Jerrold
37.
Self-defense is the clearest of all laws; and for this reason - the lawyers didn't make it.
Douglas William Jerrold
38.
Keep your eyes and ears open, if you desire to get on in the world.
Douglas William Jerrold
39.
A piece of simple goodness--a letter gushing from the heart; a beautiful unstudied vindication of the worth and untiring sweetness of human nature--a record of the invulnerability of man, armed with high purpose, sanctified by truth.
Douglas William Jerrold
40.
What women would do if they could not cry, nobody knows. What poor, defenceless creatures they would be!
Douglas William Jerrold
41.
That man is thought a dangerous knave, Or zealot plotting crime, Who for advancement of his kind Is wiser than his time.
Douglas William Jerrold
42.
Dogmation is puppyism come to its full growth.
Douglas William Jerrold
43.
I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family.
Douglas William Jerrold
44.
The best thing I know between France and England is the sea.
Douglas William Jerrold
45.
Duty, though set about by thorns, may still be made a staff supporting even while it tortures. Cast it away, and, like the prophet's wand, it changes to a snake.
Douglas William Jerrold
46.
Habitual intoxication is the epitome of every crime.
Douglas William Jerrold
47.
A creature undefiled by the taint of the world, unvexed by its injustice, unwearied by its hollow pleasures; a being fresh from the source of light, with something of its universal lustre in it. If childhood be this, how holy the duty to see that in its onward growth it shall be no other!
Douglas William Jerrold
48.
Nature designed us to be of good cheer.
Douglas William Jerrold
49.
We love peace, as we abhor pusillanimity; but not peace at any price.
Douglas William Jerrold
50.
There are some people as obtuse in recognizing an argument as they are in appreciating wit. You couldn't drive it into their heads with a hammer.
Douglas William Jerrold
