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Douglas Adams Quotes

English novelist and screenwriter (b. 1952), Birth: 11-3-1952, Death: 11-5-2001 Douglas Adams Quotes
1.
The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood.
Douglas Adams

The solitary raindrop never bears culpability for the inundation.
2.
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
Douglas Adams

To provide genuine assistance you must contribute something which cannot be purchased or quantified with currency, and that is honesty and uprightness.
3.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams

Time is a fabrication. Mealtime even more so.
4.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

5.
If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
Douglas Adams

Similar Authors: Mark Twain C. S. Lewis Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Haruki Murakami Ayn Rand Charles Dickens George Eliot Albert Camus Kurt Vonnegut Victor Hugo Chuck Palahniuk Margaret Atwood Virginia Woolf Ernest Hemingway George R. R. Martin
6.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
Douglas Adams

7.
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Douglas Adams

8.
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
Douglas Adams

Quote Topics by Douglas Adams: Thinking People Men Funny Believe Two Mind Years Mean Life Way Technology Writing Computer Long Hitchhiking Order Science Needs Nice Want Night Simple World Trying Light Jobs Space Moving Running
9.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams

10.
If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
Douglas Adams

11.
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.
Douglas Adams

12.
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Douglas Adams

13.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Douglas Adams

14.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Douglas Adams

15.
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
Douglas Adams

16.
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.
Douglas Adams

17.
What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.
Douglas Adams

18.
I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
Douglas Adams

19.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Douglas Adams

20.
Nobody got murdered before lunch. But nobody. People weren't up to it. You needed a good lunch to get both the blood-sugar and blood-lust levels up.
Douglas Adams

21.
If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.
Douglas Adams

22.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams

23.
Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, " This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in; fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well! It must have been made to have me in it!
Douglas Adams

24.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

25.
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.
Douglas Adams

26.
Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.
Douglas Adams

27.
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
Douglas Adams

28.
"I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing." "Oh," says man, "but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D." "Oh, I hadn't thought of that," says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
Douglas Adams

29.
How many roads must a man walk down?
Douglas Adams

30.
You ARE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'Yeah,' said Zaphod, 'but don't shout it out or they'll all want one.' 'THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'No, just A Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?' 'But sir,' it squealed, 'I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said you were dead...' 'Yeah, that's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet.
Douglas Adams

31.
The usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA , then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one in a million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all, and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it wasn't actually anything to do with them at all.
Douglas Adams

32.
I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.
Douglas Adams

33.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer
Douglas Adams

34.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams

35.
The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?
Douglas Adams

36.
It was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.
Douglas Adams

37.
The Encyclopedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to Be With. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing devision of the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.
Douglas Adams

38.
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

39.
The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
Douglas Adams

40.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
Douglas Adams

41.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams

42.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
Douglas Adams

43.
When you walk through the storm, hold your head high And don't be afraid of the dark! At the end of the storm is a golden sky And the sweet song of the lark. Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams be tossed & blown Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart And you'll never walk alone!
Douglas Adams

44.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
Douglas Adams

45.
Democracy is all about not electing the wrong man-eating lizard.
Douglas Adams

46.
Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it, so everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you.
Douglas Adams

47.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams

48.
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
Douglas Adams

49.
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.
Douglas Adams

50.
Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
Douglas Adams