1.
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
Lewis Grizzard
'Kinky sex involves the use of downy feathers. Depraved sex involves the entire avian.'
2.
I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.
Roddy Piper
I'm so fleet-footed, I could hurl saliva in the breeze, dodge it, and still allow it to strike the elderly woman behind me.
3.
If you want a chicken to be a duck, and a duck to be a chicken, you will suffer.
Ajahn Chah
If you attempt to make a switcheroo with chickens and ducks, you will be disappointed.
4.
No one blames a pilot who takes refuge in port when the storm begins to blow. It is not cowardice to duck under a bullet; what is wrong is to defy it only to fall and never rise again.
Jose Rizal
5.
We survive our way through basketball hoping the #‎ Lakers will survive and we hope for the #‎ Kings and for the #‎ Ducks and we want them all to succeed but if you are a true fan and especially if you are a #‎ Dodgers fan deep down inside you are saying please get out of the way, get off the stage, here come the DODGERS!
Vin Scully
6.
Chess is a matter of delicate judgement, knowing when to punch and how to duck.
Bobby Fischer
7.
Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout 'Bang!'
George Will
8.
Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in senate.
Orson Welles
9.
Life is a rush into the unknown. You can duck down & hope nothing hits you, Or stand as tall as you can, show it your teeth & say: "Dish it up, baby, and don't be stingy with the jalapenos." - must be female ;-)
Grey Owl
10.
You don’t have a snail problem, you have a duck deficiency.
Bill Mollison
11.
Today, we are shapers of the world of tomorrow. That is plain truth. There is no way we can duck the responsibility, and there is no reason why we should.
Walt Disney
12.
A duck call in the hands of the unskilled is one of conservation's greatest assets
Nash Buckingham
13.
Painting is sometimes like those recipes where you do all manner of elaborate things to a duck, and then end up putting it on one side and only using the skin.
Lucian Freud
14.
My torso is short, but my arms are really long and gangly and my legs and my neck, and my feet and hands are really long, and I look like a duck.
Cyndi Lauper
15.
If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck!
Robin Cook
16.
Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some speical rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren't allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care, it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it's free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It's like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don't worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck.
Mitch Hedberg
17.
My motto is water off a duck's back. Meaning: don't let negativity weigh you down, perpetuate positive thinking.
Jinkx Monsoon
18.
If you want to fly with the eagles, don’t swim with the ducks!
T. Harv Eker
19.
Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
Ogden Nash
20.
Flapping my arms I began to cluck, look at me, I'm the disco duck.
Rick Dees
21.
A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck.
Jodi Picoult
22.
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
Mitch Hedberg
23.
An optimist is someone who figures that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's the bluebird of happiness.
Robert Breault
24.
Have you seen a duck gliding smoothly on water? Does it ever look like it is paddling furiously underneath the surface? I don't have to show that I am working very hard.
Salman Khan
25.
If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.
Mark Twain
26.
If you keep your feathers well oiled the water of criticism will run off as from a duck's back.
Ellen Swallow Richards
27.
To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also.
Igor Stravinsky
28.
You all sound like a bunch of ducks! What? What? What? What? Shut up while I'm talking!
The Miz
29.
The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.
Peter Cook
30.
I'm like a duck: calm above the water, and paddling like hell underneath.
Fred Shero
31.
Platitudes and generalities roll off the human understanding like water from a duck.
Claude C. Hopkins
32.
I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.
Patton Oswalt
34.
A lot of young girls together is a romantic secret thing like the first sight of wild ducks at dawn.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
35.
When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?
Douglas Coupland
37.
The whole story of the universe is implicit in any part of it. The meditative eye can look through any single object and see, as through a window, the entire cosmos. Make the smell of roast duck in an old kitchen diaphanous and you will have a glimpse of everything, from the spiral nebulae to Mozart's music and the stigmata of St. Francis of Assisi. The artistic problem is to produce diaphanousness in spots, selecting the spots so as to reveal only the most humanly significant of distant vistas behind the near familiar object.
Aldous Huxley
38.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quack like a duck, then it just may be a duck.
Walter Reuther
39.
The government competes in the private sector the way an alligator competes with a duck.
Mike Pence
40.
When I was nine years old I use to copy ( not trace ) the covers of the Donald Duck comics. Many years later I became a close friend of Jack Hannah, the director of the Donald Duck film shorts.
William Jackson
41.
Nature is a wet place where large numbers of ducks fly overhead uncooked.
Oscar Wilde
42.
Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?" "They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.
Cassandra Clare
43.
The Second Amendment isn't about duck hunting or target shooting.
Massad Ayoob
44.
Starstruck with one buck, your girl look like Donald Duck.
Kool Keith
45.
Gundar seemed to come to a decision. "Well, as my old mam used to say, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it's probably a duck." "Very wise," Halt said. "And what exactly do your mother's words of wisdom have to do with this situation?" Gundar shrugged. "It looks like a channel. It's the right place for a channel. If I were digging one, this is where I'd dig a channel. So. . ." "So it's probably the channel?" Selethen said. Gundar grinned at him. "Either that or it's a duck.
John Flanagan
46.
Throughout my teens, I just wanted to go somewhere I could wear a Donald Duck pin and no one would care.
Paul Feig
47.
Cuisine has become too complicated - this is about subject, verb, adjective: duck, turnips, sauce.
Alain Ducasse
48.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease but the quacking duck gets shot.
Carl Sandburg
49.
No matter how organized your ducks are, life can turn on 2 seconds. So, you can't keep on waiting. Because, if you keep on waiting, it's gone.
Diem Brown