Funny Motivational Quotes

Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.

When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.

The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off forever.

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

I'm a person who gets better with practice. Getting older is awesome - because you get more practice.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film Funny Girl at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

My nursery school did a production of 'The Three Little Pigs.' I played the third pig. When the wolf knocked on my door, I refused to get up and answer it because, to me, he was knocking the wrong way. I just lay there, snoring away on stage, fully immersed in my character. My dad turned to my mom and said: 'Dustin Hoffman.'

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.

It's a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it...You have to let people see what you wrote.

I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.

Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone.

I don't know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, 'I need to act like a man, or I need to tone it down to be successful.' That's a very good way to keep women down.

Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.