George Ade Quotes

One man's Poison Ivy is another Fellow's Spinach.

To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations.

Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.

As the twig is bent the tree is inclined.

Scatter seeds of kindness.

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like Home when it comes to Wearing what you like.

Where ignorance is not bliss, get wise!

Life is a series of relapses and recoveries.

Nothing is Improbable until it moves into the Past Tense.

I got the breaks. Starting from nowhere in the corn belt, I helped edit a country weekly, then was jack-of-all-departments on an obscure daily, so that when I arrived in a big city everything I tackled in the line of column conducting and syndicate peddling and playwriting had to bring promotion, because I had no social standing which could be endangered, no reputation to toss away and no pride which might suffer a setback. Everything I acquired had to be velvet. You cannot lose your silver spoon if you are brought up on pewter.

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

The wealthy have nothing left except money.

It isn't how long you stick around but what you put over while you are here.

Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.

Moral: It all depends.

A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.

The serpent is helpless unless he finds an apple to work with.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.

It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.

After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but would not cost half as much during the winter months.

Familiarity breeds contentment.

In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine.

A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana. The smarter they are, the faster they come out

A rolling stone gathers no moss and therefore will not be derided as a moss-back. Roll as much as possible.

Adversity often hatches out the true nobility of character.

If a man does not go about his work with enthusiasm, it means that he has not yet found a work that he likes. Every mortal is a busy bee when he comes to the task that Destiny has set aside for him.

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

Only the more Rugged Mortals should attempt to Keep Up on Current Literature.

Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.

Opportunity knocks once at every man's door and then keeps on knocking.

Even the elders can give a number of helpful hints.

Too many trained nurses discommode Cupid.

A good musical comedy consists largely of disorderly conduct occassionally interrupted by talk.

Every Man is the Architect of his own Fortunes, but the Neighbours superintend the Construction.

A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush, but remember also that a bird in the hand is a positive embarrassment to one not in the poultry business.

The shorter the hours, the larger the income. Don't get into the habit of putting in long hours or you may be set down into a permanent subordinate position.

The music teacher came twice a week to bridge the awful gap between Dorothy and Chopin.

In uplifting, get underneath.

When Wealth walks in at the Door, the Press Agent comes in through the Window.

Those who have tried meekness know the importance of being important.

Those who are entitled to it get it sooner or later.

Moral: Don't try to Account for Anything.

Early to bed and early to rise, and you'll meet very few of the best people.

Do not give alms promiscuously. Select the unworthy poor and make them happy. To give to the deserving is a duty, but to help the improvident, drinking class is clear generosity, so that the donor has a right to be warmed by a selfish pride and count on a most flattering obituary.

The first sign of extravagance is to buy trousers that one does not need.