Helen Rowland Quotes

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a "Master of Arts" and a "Doctor of Philosophy" after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Variety is the spice of love.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.

Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination, and then they both speak of it as an affair of 'the heart.

True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.

At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, "not so old"; and at fifty, positively skittish.

A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

For repeating themselves from the first kiss to the last sigh, the average man's love affairs have History blushing with envy.

Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.

Marriage: a souvenir of love.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Love is a matter of give and take -- marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.