Irs Quotes

The only two things that scare me are God and the IRS.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS has become morally corrupted by the enormous power which we in Congress have unwisely entrusted to it. Too often it acts like a Gestapo preying upon defenseless citizens.

Elements which are similar as regards their chemical properties have atomic weights which are either of nearly the same value (eg. Pt, Ir, Os) or which increase regularly (eg. K, Ru, Cs).

I've never really had a hobby, unless you count art, which the IRS once told me I had to declare as a hobby since I hadn't made money with it.

Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.

1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.

One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress

Please understand what the IRS scandal is about: Using the government to shut down opponents

No one in America fully understands the constantly changing Internal Revenue Code. Agents of the IRS do not, judges do not, congressmen do not, and most assuredly taxpayers do not.

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so.

The United States has a system of taxation by confession

Mandatory sentencing guidelines have become as complicated and detailed as the IRS code!

Only in America does 'health' 'care' 'reform' begin with the hiring of 16,500 new IRS agents tasked with determining whether your insurance policy merits a fine.

Get rid of IRS; get rid of income tax; get rid of spending.

Nothing guarantees more applause and more support than the call to abolish the IRS.

Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

While tax refunds amount to substantial income for many Americans, current IRS rules do not allow taxpayers to directly deposit their refund into more than one account.

We must get rid of the IRS. It's a bureaucracy fraught with totalitarianism.

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.

IRS is very poorly equipped to make a distinction between what is a religion and what is not.

Finally, the House is working to require a comprehensive federal review of IRS regulations with a follow-up report to Congress on possible actions to reduce the tax paperwork burden imposed on small businesses.

Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten

I don't want the IRS banging down my door.

I got IRS records to finance what I wanted to do.

It is my belief that one's salary is between an individual and the IRS.

Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'

I bought all my friends guitars and I had a good time with my money. But then one day the IRS came knocking.

The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th. If it is more then three years they will just keep it. How come it doesn't work that way with back taxes?

In 1848, Karl Marx said, a progressive income tax is needed to transfer wealth and power to the state. Thus, Marx's Communist Manifesto had as its major economic tenet a progressive income tax. ... I say it is time to replace the progressive income tax with a national retail sales tax, and it is time to abolish the IRS.

Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible. And not a one of them is as good.

There are already current laws on the books and there are - and jurisdictions. The IRS can come in and do any kind of investigation of a person.

Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.

I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling.

All we have to do now is to inform the public that the payment of social security taxes is voluntary and watch the mass exodus.

Rather than passing a thousand pages of tax reform legislation and restarting the tax code manipulation process, we should change the paradigm. It is time to eliminate the IRS and repeal the 16th Amendment.

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

The theory of the IRS is rather repugnant to me because the assumption is made that I, the government, owns 100% of your income and I permit you to keep 5%, 10% or 20%. You're vulnerable, you've sold out. The government can take 80% if they want, which they did at one time.

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

Uh-huh. You know with that sinister tone you should look into working for the IRS. I’m sure they’re desperate for people who can cow others with a single growl. (Susan)

Some of you in this room support higher taxes. I welcome your enthusiasm and am glad to report that the IRS takes both money orders and checks.

The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents.

Most people don't know this, but if you settle a debt for less than the amount you owed, you are potentially responsible for taxes on the forgiven debt. Look at it this way: You received goods and services for the full amount of debt, but you're only paying for a portion of it - sometimes less than 50%. Anything more than $600 is generally considered taxable, but the IRS will sometimes waive the tax if you can prove that your assets were less than your liabilities when the debt was settled.

Bringing the IRS to heel can start with re-energizing and expanding congressional investigations and holding accountable those responsible for the targeting and other abuses.

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.