1.
The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.
Jerry Coleman
2.
Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!
Jerry Coleman
3.
Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
Jerry Coleman
4.
Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.
Jerry Coleman
5.
Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.
Jerry Coleman
6.
He slides into second with a stand-up double.
Jerry Coleman
7.
And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.
Jerry Coleman
8.
Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
Jerry Coleman
9.
There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.
Jerry Coleman
10.
Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.
Jerry Coleman
11.
Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.
Jerry Coleman
12.
You never ask why you've been fired because if you do, they're liable to tell you.
Jerry Coleman
13.
I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.
Jerry Coleman
14.
Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.
Jerry Coleman
15.
I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.
Jerry Coleman
16.
You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
Jerry Coleman
17.
I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.
Jerry Coleman
18.
They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
Jerry Coleman
19.
It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
Jerry Coleman
20.
Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.
Jerry Coleman
21.
The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
Jerry Coleman
22.
Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.
Jerry Coleman
23.
A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.
Jerry Coleman
24.
Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.
Jerry Coleman
25.
Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now.
Jerry Coleman
26.
Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.
Jerry Coleman
27.
The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there.
Jerry Coleman
28.
He many not be hurt as much as he really is.
Jerry Coleman
29.
The ballgame is over...in this inning.
Jerry Coleman
30.
That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
Jerry Coleman
31.
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
Jerry Coleman
32.
When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around.
Jerry Coleman
33.
Benedict may not be as hurt as he really is.
Jerry Coleman
34.
When you lose your hands, you can't play baseball.
Jerry Coleman
35.
Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
Jerry Coleman
36.
We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!
Jerry Coleman
37.
There's two heads to every coin.
Jerry Coleman
38.
Hi, folks, I'm Jerry Gross. No, I'm not, I'm Jerry Coleman.
Jerry Coleman
39.
Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.
Jerry Coleman
40.
Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
Jerry Coleman
41.
Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.
Jerry Coleman
42.
You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.
Jerry Coleman
43.
Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!
Jerry Coleman
44.
With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!
Jerry Coleman
45.
Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
Jerry Coleman
46.
There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
Jerry Coleman
47.
At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.
Jerry Coleman
48.
Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.
Jerry Coleman
49.
The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.
Jerry Coleman
50.
Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.
Jerry Coleman
