Jerry Coleman Quotes

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

He slides into second with a stand-up double.

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.

You never ask why you've been fired because if you do, they're liable to tell you.

I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.

Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.

I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.

You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.

It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.

Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.

Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.

A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.

Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.

Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now.

Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.

The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there.

He many not be hurt as much as he really is.

The ballgame is over...in this inning.

That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.

They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.

When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around.

Benedict may not be as hurt as he really is.

When you lose your hands, you can't play baseball.

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!

There's two heads to every coin.

Hi, folks, I'm Jerry Gross. No, I'm not, I'm Jerry Coleman.

Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.

Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.

Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.

You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!

Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.

There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.

At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.