Jerry Stiller Quotes

We are even better looking on the small screen

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

I shave without using shaving cream.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's.

I ask myself why I do it [work]. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

Would you go to see a brilliant actor who's been framed for something that he didn't do, and put him on a stage and say he's going to do Hamlet for you, and why don't you enjoy it? That's a hell of an analogy, but it's about the same thing.

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

It can make you sad to look at pictures from your youth. So there's a trick to it. The trick is not to look at the later pictures.

I've been around the block a lot and I've had a merry trail for 55 years.

We managed to hang in there. Today when people get married there's a tendency to run away when things get tough. There is a lot of strength in hanging together.

The worst thing in this business is to be thought of as a no-talent.

Some of the routines come back very easily. We do it off the top of our heads.

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny.