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Kathy Griffin Quotes

American comedian and actress, Birth: 4-11-1960 Kathy Griffin Quotes
1.
No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.
Kathy Griffin

2.
I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.
Kathy Griffin

3.
The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.
Kathy Griffin

4.
I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
Kathy Griffin

5.
I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
Kathy Griffin

Similar Authors: George Carlin Jay Leno Bill Maher David Letterman Dolly Parton Jon Stewart Stephen Colbert Marilyn Monroe Jimmy Fallon Craig Ferguson Angelina Jolie Mitch Hedberg Nicki Minaj Jim Gaffigan Rodney Dangerfield
6.
I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't ever say anything bad about the group I'm in, cause every group is untouchable.' We can all criticize each other and engage in debate all we want.
Kathy Griffin

7.
I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
Kathy Griffin

8.
I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.
Kathy Griffin

Quote Topics by Kathy Griffin: People Lists Thinking Different Want Comedy Real Reality I Regret Night Knows Party Men Fun Crazy Regret Love Is Who I Am Comedian Jobs Apologizing Months Book Challenges Class Believe House Remember Houston Kids
9.
I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
Kathy Griffin

10.
There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.
Kathy Griffin

11.
That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.
Kathy Griffin

12.
Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.
Kathy Griffin

13.
I have a no-apology policy.
Kathy Griffin

14.
I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.
Kathy Griffin

15.
Always and Forever is a Grandmothers love
Kathy Griffin

16.
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
Kathy Griffin

17.
If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.
Kathy Griffin

18.
It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
Kathy Griffin

19.
So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.
Kathy Griffin

20.
When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!
Kathy Griffin

21.
Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
Kathy Griffin

22.
Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.
Kathy Griffin

23.
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!
Kathy Griffin

24.
I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
Kathy Griffin

25.
A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.
Kathy Griffin

26.
I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.
Kathy Griffin

27.
Why would you want to keep the bluebird houses mounted in a place that you now know is unsafe for them? Bluebirds are not ornaments for pictures, they are living things that deserve your best effort if you are going to be a landlord to them. There is no magic spell that will protect those bluebirds--they have to depend on you or they are doomed.
Kathy Griffin

28.
I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.
Kathy Griffin

29.
Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.
Kathy Griffin

30.
I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
Kathy Griffin

31.
That's life when you're on the D-list.
Kathy Griffin

32.
I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.
Kathy Griffin

33.
I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.
Kathy Griffin

34.
I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.
Kathy Griffin

35.
The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.
Kathy Griffin

36.
I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
Kathy Griffin

37.
I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.
Kathy Griffin

38.
I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!
Kathy Griffin

39.
I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.
Kathy Griffin

40.
I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or your ovaries. I am a big believer on breaking those rules. It's a case-by-case basis. But the thing is, there's so many ways to make a joke about something that is sort of maybe verboten or something.
Kathy Griffin

41.
Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.
Kathy Griffin

42.
I am what you call a non-believer. I don't even want to say I'm an atheist because frankly I don't want to join their club either. But the point is, I am a fallen catholic, I'm not religious, and that's all well and good.
Kathy Griffin

43.
When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.
Kathy Griffin

44.
Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it's a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.
Kathy Griffin

45.
I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.
Kathy Griffin

46.
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
Kathy Griffin

47.
But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
Kathy Griffin

48.
My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
Kathy Griffin

49.
I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.
Kathy Griffin

50.
So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.
Kathy Griffin