1.
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
2.
I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.
Johnny Vegas
3.
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.
Hunter S. Thompson
4.
No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it off to forced conscious expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten.
Hunter S. Thompson
6.
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
8.
It's like a crapshoot in Las Vegas, except in Las Vegas the odds are with the house. As for the market, the odds are with you, because on average over the long run, the market has paid off.
Harry Markowitz
9.
With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.
Johnny Vegas
10.
History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of "history" it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody understands at the time--and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.
Hunter S. Thompson
11.
I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.
Norm Crosby
12.
Bailing out people who made ill-advised mortgages makes no more sense that bailing out people who lost their life savings in Las Vegas casinos.
Thomas Sowell
14.
Las Vegas is a society of armed masturbators/gambling is the kicker here/sex is extra/weird trip for high rollers ... house-whores for winners, hand jobs for the bad luck crowd.
Hunter S. Thompson
15.
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas.
Hunter S. Thompson
16.
I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.
Johnny Vegas
17.
They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.
Johnny Vegas
18.
Las Vegas is still socially sanctioned deviance. Its brand is just more comfortable to more Americans than it used to be.
Hal Rothman
19.
You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.
Johnny Vegas
20.
I use very few muscles at the best of times.
Johnny Vegas
21.
I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.
Ben E. King
22.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone.
Mort Sahl
24.
I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.
Adam Sandler
25.
My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.
Johnny Vegas
26.
Secretly, I had always wanted to go to Vegas, and have my own really bad act!
Sigourney Weaver
27.
I had a great time doing Vegas. It's just that it takes a lot of time.
John Elway
29.
Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.
Johnny Vegas
30.
I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.
Johnny Vegas
32.
If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
Johnny Vegas
33.
The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.
Drew Carey
35.
You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
Johnny Vegas
36.
Las Vegas was such a teeny, tiny place.
Eydie Gorme
40.
I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.
Johnny Vegas
41.
Las Vegas was and is a hard town that will make you pay for your inability to restrain your desires.... If you have a weakness, Las Vegas will punish you.
Hal Rothman
42.
Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
Evan Esar
44.
Las Vegas: It was not cafe society, it was Nescafe society
Noel Coward
45.
In a city of illusion, where change is what the city does, it's no wonder Las Vegas is the court of last resort, the last place to start over, to reinvent yourself in the same way that the city does, time after time. For some it works; for some it doesn't, but they keep coming and trying.
Hal Rothman
47.
If what happens in Las Vegas is supposed to stay in Las Vegas, how did Harry Reid get out?
Wesley Pruden
48.
I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.
Norm MacDonald
49.
Las Vegas is a 24-hour city. It never stops.
Eli Roth
50.
Why can't you just get married in Las Vegas like normal Americans?
Meg Cabot