Poop Quotes

If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.

If all you do is follow the herd, you'll just be stepping in poop all day

Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out.

Everybody looks at their poop.

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

Whenever I feel nervous, I feel like I have to poop.

Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?

Ram it up your poop chute.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

I have a natural propensity to work on big piles of poop.

I poop in the backyard... I wear disposable diapers.

Putting Windows [3.11] on top of DOS is like putting whipped cream on a road apple [horse poop].

One side sticks to the facts, and the other side is close to playing with its poop.

I respect so much the work that so many women do, but that's just not what I do. I have a job where I advertise yogurt that makes you poop, and people love it and tell me about their bowel movements, every day.

You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.

I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!

I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks. I'll pay you 20 bucks and I'll eat it.

Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.

My most smelly job was at a kennels and cattery, and I basically spent all day scooping poop.

They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can actually do all three at the same time. Who knew?

My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.

Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop? Answer: That is bird poop, too.

The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop. That's who you are!

The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

I use an app called ChoreMonster. The kids earn points for brushing teeth or picking up the dog poop. It's genius.

I do not care about the greatest good for the greatest number . . . Most people are poop-heads I do not care about them at all.

If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.

Going into therapy doesn't guarantee poop on toast.

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop.