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Randy Glasbergen Quotes

1.
What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?
Randy Glasbergen

2.
I learned about stress management from my kids. Every night after work, I drink some chocolate milk, eat sugary cereal straight from the box, then run around the house in my underwear screaming like a monkey.
Randy Glasbergen

3.
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.
Randy Glasbergen

4.
Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3
Randy Glasbergen

5.
I think men were destined to become homemakers. After all, who ever heard of "Ms. Clean" or the "Woman from Glad"?
Randy Glasbergen

Similar Authors: Ralph Waldo Emerson William Shakespeare Donald Trump Mahatma Gandhi Barack Obama Rush Limbaugh Henry David Thoreau Friedrich Nietzsche Mark Twain Rajneesh Cassandra Clare C. S. Lewis Albert Einstein Oscar Wilde Thomas Jefferson
6.
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
Randy Glasbergen

7.
He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.
Randy Glasbergen

8.
It's called 'reading'. It's how people install new software into their brains.
Randy Glasbergen

Quote Topics by Randy Glasbergen: Funny Thinking Humor Motivation Calling Reading Funny Work Schedules Feels Exercise Humorous Men Stress Kids Loss Inspirational Brain Hot People Company Busy Tattoo Sex Running
9.
These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it.
Randy Glasbergen