1.
I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
Boris Johnson
2.
Without Elvis none of us could have made it.
Buddy Holly
3.
People look at you, and they've got just the perfect little box for you, the perfect category. Call you a redneck. Call you a hillbilly. Like those were insults.
Travis Tritt
4.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
5.
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
6.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
Jeff Foxworthy
9.
Anybody can be unhappy. We can all be hurt. You don't have to be poor to need something or somebody. Rednecks, hippies, misfits - we're all the same. Gay or straight? So what? It doesn't matter to me. We have to be concerned about other people, regardless.
Willie Nelson
10.
Is Billy Idol just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?
Freddie Mercury
11.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
12.
And if there's any hope for America, it lies in a revolution, and if there's any hope for a revolution in America, it lies in getting Elvis Presley to become Che Guevara.
Phil Ochs
13.
I guess I thought I was Elvis Presley but I'll tell ya something. All Elvis did was stand on a stage and play a guitar. He never fell off on that pavement at no 80 mph.
Evel Knievel
14.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
15.
I've been a radical for a long time. I guess it's too bad. I'd be more marketable as a right-wing redneck.
Kris Kristofferson
16.
Elvis was the only man from Northeast Mississippi who could shake his hips and still be loved by rednecks, cops, and hippies.
Jimmy Buffett
17.
You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.
Jase Robertson
18.
How funny is it that so many professors labeled Tea Partiers as terrorists, while kissing the asses of real, bona fide terrorists? It's not funny, really. But it's the result of a simple equation: One is cool, and the other isn't. Own a gun and keep it by your bed in your remote farmhouse? You're a redneck. Purchase guns that end up killing a judge? Priceless. As long as you cling to cool, progressive beliefs that deem America evil, whatever you do is cool. And if you do it under a big fuzzy 'fro? Even cooler. Hell, if you 'fro is big enough, you could nuke an orphanage and still get tenure.
Greg Gutfeld
19.
I used to go down every year for the remembrance of Elvis' birthday. Memphis State College invited me to sit in the auditorium and speak to the people for one of those Elvis days.
Otis Blackwell
20.
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.
Jeff Foxworthy
21.
The Republican base is now made up of religious and neoconservative ideologues, and the uneducated white underclass with a token person of color or two up front on TV to obscure the all-white, all reactionary all backward — there-is-no-global-warming — rube reality. Actual conservatives, let alone the educated classes, have long since fled.
Frank Schaeffer
23.
The enemy of the black is not the white. The enemy of capitalist is not communist, the enemy of homosexual is not heterosexual, the enemy of Jew is not Arab, the enemy of youth is not the old, the enemy of hip is not redneck, the enemy of Chicano is not gringo and the enemy of women is not men. We all have the same enemy. The enemy is the tyranny of the dull mind. The enemy is every expert who practices technocratic manipulation, the enemy is every proponent of standardization and the enemy is every victim who is so dull and lazy and weak as to allow himself to be manipulated and standardized.
Tom Robbins
24.
Colonel Parker asked Henry and me to come to Elvis' suite and have breakfast. There were at least five policemen stationed up there. He was talking on the telephone.
Minnie Pearl
25.
My husband was a pilot. He flew Elvis when Elvis first started making appearances around the country.
Minnie Pearl
26.
My favorite artists have always been Elvis and The Beatles and they still are!
Johnny Ramone
27.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
Jeff Foxworthy
28.
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Jeff Foxworthy
29.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
30.
I love Johnny Cash, and I respect Johnny Cash. He's the biggest. He's like an Elvis in this business, but no, he's never been the rebel.
Waylon Jennings
31.
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Jeff Foxworthy
32.
I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.
Bobcat Goldthwait
33.
Elvis couldn't leave the hotel except under heavy guard. It was incredible how they went wild over him.
Minnie Pearl
34.
If it was just me and Elvis one on one, which only happened once or twice in the times that I did see him, it was a really comfortable. He was a cool guy... easy laugh, nice guy.
Mac Davis
35.
Elvis was a big influence to my music, but Loretta Lynn was, as well.
Tanya Tucker
36.
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
Jeff Foxworthy
37.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.
Jeff Foxworthy
38.
You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
Jeff Foxworthy
39.
It was Elvis who really got me hooked on beat music. When I heard 'Heartbreak Hotel' I thought, this is it.
Paul McCartney
40.
I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.
Norm Crosby
41.
I'm a redneck. And we can wear whatever because we just really don't care about those things. And when you're a redneck named Bubba, you really don't care.
Bubba Watson
42.
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Jeff Foxworthy
43.
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
Jeff Foxworthy
44.
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
45.
You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
Jeff Foxworthy
46.
Reardan is the rich white farm town that sits in the wheat fields exactly 22 miles away from the Rez. And it's a hick town I suppose filled with farmers and rednecks and racists cops who stop every Indian that drives through. During one week when I was little dad got stopped three times for DWI- Driving While Indian.
Sherman Alexie
47.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
Jeff Foxworthy
48.
It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor—which people like in America—all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride.
David Cross
49.
Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.
Robin Williams
50.
Among the rednecks of America, which there are many more than people seem to realize, it was terribly damaging. I got blamed for O.J.'s acquittal.
F. Lee Bailey