Richard Belzer Quotes

What am I grateful for? Aside from my own great life, you mean? I'm just grateful that my wife, and daughter, and dogs are all healthy.

If you tell a lie that's big enough, and you tell it often enough, people will believe you're telling the truth, even if what you're saying is total crap.

The truth will set you free...unless you want to know the truth about who killed JFK.

Anybody who thinks there`s not a vast right-wing conspiracy in this country must also think that Ken Starr should be our next ambassador to Luxembourg.

There`s a division in most major police departments called, `Special Victims Unit,` which is what sex crimes are euphemistically called. They`re considered the most heinous crimes, when not only do you violate somebody, but you violate them sexually. So it`s an elite squad that takes care of that.

I've known Chevy Chase for so long, I actually knew him when he was funny!

It's this patronizing thing that people have about if you're against the war everyone's lumped together. You know, the soldiers are not scholars, they're not war experts.

Civil liberties, good. Lawyers, bad.