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Richard Turner Quotes

1.
I'm a woofer, not a tweeter; a writer, not a telegrapher; an essayist, not an aphorist.
Richard Turner

2.
I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam.... If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn the people who respond to spammers to do nothing but clean the toilets in this room.
Richard Turner

3.
Anytime I see someone blocking the aisle in the supermarket while talking on a phone, I want to ram that person with my shopping cart.
Richard Turner

4.
Mudslinging - In politics, anything bad the opponent says about our candidate; in contrast, when our candidate does this, it is called 'making a good point.
Richard Turner

5.
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
Richard Turner

Similar Authors: Ralph Waldo Emerson William Shakespeare Donald Trump Mahatma Gandhi Barack Obama Rush Limbaugh Henry David Thoreau Friedrich Nietzsche Mark Twain Rajneesh Cassandra Clare C. S. Lewis Albert Einstein Oscar Wilde Thomas Jefferson
6.
Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.
Richard Turner

7.
Grammar Checker – A software program that is not needed by those who know grammar and virtually useless for those who don’t.
Richard Turner

8.
Speed Limit – A sign that tells you at what speed the car that's rapidly fading from view in your rearview mirror is going; a law that provides the sole means of support for many small-town police departments.
Richard Turner